Welcome, readers, to this review of 'My Interracial Gay Dads Gave Me Monkeypox', a family-friendly, highly educational historical book suitable for children of all ages, authored by award-winning children's author Shlomo Shekelberg and published by Good Goy Books!
The glowing reviews that it received from esteemed scholars Robin DiAngelo and Ibram X. Kendi attest to Shekelberg's sheer literary skill; alas, we should review this wonderful book in finer detail.
Shekelberg takes readers through an accurate depiction of the life of a 'gayby', a young boy growing up in the average homosexual American household during the 2022 Monkeypox outbreak.
But there's an *amazing plot twist!* One of the two fathers, Shitavious... is *black*. Shekelberg proceeds to take readers through the brave and heroic struggles of this fine, proud 21st century American family against the evils of a racist, cisheteronormative patriarchy.
The young boy contracts Monkeypox under mysterious circumstances. A White doctor accuses Shitavious of repeatedly raping the boy after traces of his DNA are found in the boy's rectum, to which Shitavious has a chimp-out. The doctor is immediately fired and is later doxxed and murdered by Antifa and BLM supporters, much to the family's glee. A clear anti-racist message is articulated on these pages: If white, never right.
It is here that Shekelberg's sheer literary capacity truly shines. For Shekelberg isn't *just* a children's author, but an excellent social critic, subtly making several profound insights concerning how homophobic and racist medicines and hospital beds and all sorts of other things actually are, interwoven with his colourful illustrations.
Shekelberg observes that hospitals, hospital walls, hospital beds and so forth, are all too white, all of which he demonstrates is the intentional result of a racist White supremacist and homophobic conspiracy. Shekelberg makes a twin-pronged attack on this hegemonic and vile structural homophobia and racism.
Firstly, hospitals oppress racial and sexual minorities by bombarding them non-stop with unbearable whiteness. For white symbolizes cleanliness, which is a clear racist and homophobic dogwhistle: it sends the implicit but clear message that both non-whites and non-heterosexuals are in some way *unclean* and thus should not be welcomed in such spaces. Shekelberg demonstrates, for instance, that there is no practical difference between hospitals and those historical places with 'Whites Only' signs other than that the racism of the latter is more overt.
Indeed, the esteemed peer-reviewed *Journal of Homo-Negro Studies* has recently published a seminal article concluding that homosexuals of colour, in particular, increasingly reported feeling oppressed in spaces in which they feel that not being heterosexual and white plain and simply leads to feelings of not being right. This empirically proves that anti-racist and anti-homophobic action must be taken to save black and gay lives!
As a cure to this structural racism and homophobia, Shekelberg recommends ensuring that all hospitals and everything in them should be black and brown, suffocating racism and homophobia in such spaces.
This excellent advice, of course, comes from the same author who, in his widely regarded previous children's book, 'My Racist Teeth', wisely led a whole generation to paint their teeth black and brown in order to avoid committing aggressive acts of racism and homophobia whenever they smile. Indeed, consequent of this stellar advice, we have seen a 14% decrease in racism and a similar percentage decrease in homophobia committed over the past year!
Shitavious is soon informed that he also has previously undetected and yet highly advanced cases of AIDS, syphilis and several other STDs, and that he tragically only has a few weeks to live. On his deathbed, Shitavious tells his adopted son some wise last words before passing away. Here, Shekelberg demonstrates his artistic talents, including a wonderful illustration depicting Shitavious with an angel's wings floating towards Heaven's Gate towards God, who is trans and black, awaiting him, symbolically drawing parallels to George Floyd's sacrifice.
In the final few pages, we see how the young boy has matured. We find that he's been wearing adult diapers since the age of 16, and undergone numerous other struggles. His other father—a proud 'bugchaser'—has since died from complications caused by the dozens of STDs inside him. But it's all been worth it. He's about to receive surgery for a prolapsed anus, and yet on the very last page he confidently and proudly shares with readers the wise and empowering words that Shitavious told him all those years ago.
They were: "I Dindu Nuffin to yo' bunghole, boy! Black Lives Matter!"
