It's like an endless cycle of having my heart broken or me breaking some nice girl's heart. I have to juggle multiple women at once to not waste time because chances are these little games last 1-2 dates. This is ridiculous. If you randomly stumbled across your wife without putting in much effort, consider yourself blessed.
I have angered my Lord and he is pouring his wrath out upon me. I had a dream the other night where an Angel spoke and said Behold, I am he that was dead and liveth forevermore. Your lust burns like a fire in the dry, and the fire you kindle is the fire in which you shall burn.
I am afflicted by my sins. I have turned away from my Lord and a drought has fallen upon my field. Both the good wheat and tares are enflamed by the fire I ignited. My virtue is choked out by the smoke and my harvest will be naught but ashes. I will cry out to my Lord that the rain may come and extinguish my mistake. I alone throw water from the well but it is not enough to make any difference. Pray for me brother.
I'll give you hope. Your sins drive you to Christ, which is the only Hope there is in this world. He brought my wife and I together and made it possible for 5 kids (despite several miscarriages.)
Your weakness will be transformed into strength through Christ.
They can just as quickly drive a man away, or worse, drive God away from the man.