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I was in your situation and I married a woman I was not attracted to. **Take my advice and don't listen to anyone else's speculative musings.** Years ago I met a girl who checked all the boxes, debt free virgin w/o tattoos or piercings, intelligent and caring, very attracted to me. I held off dating her because she wasn't my type and, like you, I didn't feel that initial rush. We had "chemistry" but it was more of a social comfortableness I felt around her than me wanting to spend every second with her.

Eventually though I realized that what I wanted and what I needed in a wife were two very different things. Back then I was young and degenerate, and I wanted that passionate feeling of what I thought was love. I wanted excitement instead of stability, and physical attraction instead of emotional compatibility. I decided to commit to her, and after dating mostly long distance for almost four years, we got married. At the time I still felt like I was settling. Rationally I knew I was making the right decision but emotionally everything felt wrong and horrible. It was so bad that I can honestly say one of the hardest things I have ever done was walk out to the alter on my wedding day and stand there before God, feeling like a hypocrite and a failure.

Years later though, we are happily married with two beautiful children. She respects and cherishes me, and I love her more than I have loved any one in my life. When you're young and immature you never actually feel love. It's just a mixture of lust, jealousy, and horniness. Love is something you grow over time, intentionally, that can carry you through anything. You can be attracted to someone's body sexually, but as soon as they get fat, ugly, or old that disappears. If you love someone's body it's because you love their soul. I recommend you give this girl of yours a chance. Remember you're playing the long game, and a few years of anxiety when you're young and stupid is well worth a fulfilling marriage for the rest of your life.

The last thing I'll say is that about a year or so into our marriage I became extremely attracted to my wife. Even after two kids I still am (if you know what you're doing this doesn't actually change much), and she is to me. Appearance is way more malleable than you would think and after a year or so of eating right and exercising you're basically a new person. You are incredibly fortunate you have found such an excellent woman, especially in these times. I know you may not feel this way, but trust me that in a few years you certainly will. God be with you and feel free to reach out if you have questions.

>I can tell she's falling for me a lot more than I'm falling for her

You know this is actually a good thing that assures you she'll stay together through thick and thin

I understand that lack of physical attraction probably makes you question, but unless she's physically deformed its not really a factor... Like can you get hard in her presence? If yes then i don't see the problem

If no then your balls are telling you something

Overall this is female thinking, females always think they can get a better man even they're in relationship

Masculine thinking is basically thinking long-game, how many children does she want, will she homeschool them and make them homecooked meals that sort of thing

I for one, don't care if a lass is mid-looking as long as her voice is soft and her **soul** is genuine

How much of your idea of what makes a woman attractive have been dictated to you by porno and other degenerate kike media? Because you're never going to meet a girl who look like at TV goyslop whore and who also has decent morals, they don't exist. Good women look like Eva Braun

Such a large reddit post to basically say she's fat and you don't find her attractive.

You could get her to go to the gym with you and work out to get that ass right. Is that the problem or is her face fucked?

How fat is she? If she's not a lard ass then congratulations, you're a retard.

But anyway, just tell her you're a nazi, despise the jew establishment and see where it goes from there. If she passes that test then tell her she has to delete all her social media/ entertainment accounts because she's being influenced by jewish satanism. Most likely she'll distance herself, problem solved. If not.... Well you've got a keeper unfortunately(?).

A rock and a hard place, eh? On the one hand you may be turning away a good thing, on the other hand you may be settling for someone you can't truly love and by extension taking away her chance to find someone who can.

Ultimately only you know all the cards at play, so you have to weigh your options. Pretty unhelpful, I know. But just thought I would reassure you that the decision is in your hands.

I see a lot of myself in this post. A lot.

If you're both ready to give it a shot and make it work, nothing can stop you. As u/_Adolf_liebt_Eva_ said, love can (and in my opinion, should) be cultivated.

There's a lot of good women that are just plain and simple. Hearts of gold if any man gave them a shot and brought them out of their shell. You don't want to throw that away for some attractive bimbo with a personality akin to a cunt, or some nebulous woman you think you might one day meet in the future. That's mans innate nature, and you have to tame it somewhat.

True love will grow with time. It's not as exciting or romantic as what lust can conjure up, but it is stronger. You want someone you can communicate and talk with 5, 10, 20 years later and still have things to say. Tits will sag, waistlines will eventually grow, but a woman who can make you laugh is invaluable.

My woman and I were not each others type, so to speak. We're both decent looking, but not what each other would generally gravitate towards. We both decided (independently) to give someone different a shot, because our radars were so shit at finding decent partners. We're just shy of 10 years.

You do have to understand what you're surrendering as a man, though, and be at peace with it. Trust me when I tell you, no pair of tits, tight legs or pretty wavy hair will ever make me cheat on my wife. We've grown something together for almost a decade that no one else can bring to the table. We have history and understanding together that no one else can ever offer.

So regardless of how we felt about each other at the beginning, we're deeply in love and connected now.

Grab her up.

could it be that you simply have had different experiences with women and you have lost your ability to pair a bond? Most red blooded males would fornicate with a woman as long as she breathes and shows interest, most would jump on an opportunity to date one that makes a good partner and shows interest like a jew jumping on a functioning homogenous society. I find it highly unlikely that she is so hideous as for most men to say no to, so therefore you are either highly attractive and have had experiences with much more attractive women and find her looks lacking, or you simple have lost that pair bonding ability, like a roastie that jumps back to the abusive "chad" while her mind constantly points her towards the "safe choice" normie

If you want excitement, ride a roller coaster or wrestle alligators. If you want a woman that's worth a damn, invest in this one.

Put a bag over her head

This depends. She's clearly into you, but you're not the other way. it would be foolish to pull away, yes, but clearly this isn't your type. I'd suggest hanging in a while longer. You've got a rare find, but it's not what you're looking for. You've not been alone too long to form a relationship, she might just not be your type now. That can change. If it does, and you realize that you really, truly love this woman, good for you, you're set for life. If it doesn't, she might realize that you don't reciprocate and break away, and you gain a new friend.

Best of luck, anon.

If there's no spark you will always be tempted to look elsewhere and you will ultimately waste your life never being happy.

i have the solution

give me her number and lose it

So you found your first nice girl, congrats! The way you describe her makes her sound pretty darn uggo and if you think that now you’re going to stay thinking that. The reason she is “saggy” like you’re describing is her own choice.

A competent woman knows how to be attractive to men and *makes* themselves attractive to men. Half of this is just adopting the personality and interests of a man they like and the other half is making themselves physically attractive to them. Right now you’re trying to decide if half the effort is okay. But you’re worth the whole thing, king.

I went on a date a while back with this beautiful blond haired blue eyed young lady. The most bubbly, charming, and sweet personality with her life shit together and serious. But when I went on my first date with her I realized that she used to be extremely overweight and had gone through a lot of surgery to lose weight. But she still had these BIG tucks of skin and some fat around her stomach, hips and thighs, kinda looked melted. I thought it was sad and I felt bad but I ultimately didn’t see her again because of that. Because I knew that I was worth more than that. That I don’t need to settle for someone busted.

I think it’s nice you found someone who seems great in paper, but what I’m getting at is that these things can be faked, but if she’s not willing to put in the other half to be attractive, she’s probably not the one, and you deserve the one.

Your Children will take after you with Gene dominance. What your wife looks like is a secondary issue. You don't need a 10. If she has a beatiful soul and isn't overweight then she is a winner. Porn and whorish women have ruined perception of what an ideal women is. Look back at women from the 30-40s. Men looked for quality of character, if their hips could easily bare many kids. ect.

>> She's not my type physically. We get along well personality wise, but I find nothing especially enchanting about her presence. She doesn't light up my day. She doesn't inspire me. I don't miss her when we're apart.

All that is gay stuff that the jewish media has convince people to base their marriages on, knowing that attraction fades with age. Thats why we have such a ridiculous divorce rate, people get married based off of lust that will often disappear within the first year, and then find out they have nothing in common and hate each other. Youve found a very good woman, find out what you have in common with her, if there truly is nothing, direct her to a man you would know is good for her. The fact that your with her to begin with is a sign that theres *something* between you, and it probably is something that you can form a life-long bond with her over.

You're overthinking it. It's worth a shot.
You're way overthinking it. Even the worst decisions I made in my life were still worth making.

What do you want to do with your life? Is fulfilling your carnal desires at the top, or does raising your own food and children rank higher?
If you have noble goals and aspirations, and she is with you all the way, you will cherish her more than anything.
Read Proverbs 31. Pay attention to verses 10 & 30; they are the only ones that reference beauty.

Love can be grown. Or at least stockholm syndrome style.

Did you ever have a relationship? Were you attracted to them? Why ?

> She ticks so many boxes on paper that I feel it'd be crazy to pull away.

Yeah, sounds like that.

> then who can I love? How am I going to find anyone else like this?

They are probably quite rare, so you likely won't.

> Have I been alone too long to form a real relationship?

Sounds like that, yes.

> She's not fat exactly, but she's not small.

Ah I see. That's a problem. What you are dealing with is ~5/10, who is around ~0/10 on the crazy scale. There is that hot-crazy scale, and the hotter she is, the crazier she is allowed to be. In your case you may get bored by her "basicness", aka her craziness and hotness levels are too low for you.

I don't know how to approach it, but if you want to keep up that relationship you need to introduce something exciting. Maybe it cannot be fixed. Don't expect you can fix her, that will cause frustration on both sides if she is not doing it or doing it involuntarily. Also it may be temporary and it's likely to rebound over time, causing you to struggle to keep her fit.

If you decide she's good enough for you and you want to spend your life with her, you'll be in love in no time. What do you mean she's not your type phisically? Is she just ugly or fat? If she is alright (meaning healthy and white) you're gonna get used to her and once that happens your idea of what your type is will be based on her.

OP I would talk to an older man in your church that you trust who is married and has children and isn't a divorcee and doesn't run around on his wife.

I'd say marrying just to marry is a bad idea. I would personally not marry a woman I had no attraction to. However, the most important quality in a mate is being easy to live with, not being attractive. It's tough. You see why you need to talk to an older married man in the church?

Are you going to lust after other women because she isnt your type later in life?

Stop being stupid.

Dude, stop being a fag. You're supposed to have children with her, and then raise the next generation.

Oh no, you're sacrificing hawt sex!!!

You are a faggot