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I have fallen by the wayside and wither. My faith is wavering because of the torment of this world and it is clear that I was never truly a Christian.

What do I do?
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ApexVeritas on scored.co
11 months ago 1 point (+0 / -0 / +1Score on mirror ) 1 child
I used to think that way, too. I felt like I had bad luck, that God was punishing me. My outlook affected my surroundings and my mental state, a negativity that constantly pulled me down into repeated bouts of depression off and on for many years.


I learned, however, that suffering is necessary, for being alive, for improving, for learning, and for building strong men. Look at the physical dichotomy between the political left and right. The left play perpetual victimhood, wallow in sin, and seek comfort and hedonism above all other considerations. They're weak and unchallenged, shirking away from all hardship, and when hardship does reach them, they cry out "woe is me". We're strong because we're challenged, because we overcome.


If God is all powerful and loves us, how can God let us suffer?


Part of the answer to this question is displayed openly right now, for all to see, a parallel in current society matching perfectly to the scenario I'm about to paint.


Imagine a scenario where God relented, and removed the worst half of human experiences from what could happen to us, leaving only the neutral experiences up to the very best. At first, we would be overjoyed and thankful. We would praise God every day. Then, slowly over time, we would begin to get used to the "new normal". We would begin to take our great blessing for granted, and come to expect it, forgetting how badly things were before. Our memory isn't perfect, individually or generationally. Over generations, the great blessing God bestowed on us would be entirely forgotten. The "new normal" of the top half of human experiences would be reshaped into the totality of human experience, with the formerly neutral experiences labelled as the worst things imaginable. We would see differentiation in human experience, see people experience better things than us, and would lament "why God do you let me suffer?" Through comparison, through envy and coveting what our neighbors have, we would rob ourselves of our own joy. The people would cry out, asking God the exact same question that began this path.


Let's say that God relents again, and removes the new worst half of human experience, leaving only the top quarter of human experiences. The process would repeat. People at first would be overjoyed and thankful. Then they'd get used to it, and then take it for granted, then normalize it, then forget where they came from, compare experiences, reshape their definition of reality to fit with their current worldview, and rob their own joy by being envious and covetous of their neighbors who have it better.


This is exactly what's happened to Western civilization, right now. We have central air conditioning, heating, cheap clothing, plentiful food and water, cars, phones, computers, internet, all manner of entertainment, relative safety, automated machinery to make our work much easier. Our ancestors, not even 100 years ago, grew most of their own food, made their own clothes, washed everything by hand, had no air conditioning, no electric or gas heating, no water pipes, the bathrooms were outhouses, no electricity, no cars, no phones, no internet, no washing machines, no dishwashers, etc. They lived tough lives, but they were happy, because they struggled and were thankful for what they had. Nowadays? People have far more than their ancestors could've ever dreamed, but most people are miserable, precisely because we don't struggle like our ancestors, because we've taken all of the blessings we have for granted. We've forgotten where we came from and reshaped reality into the "new normal", comparing our lot to those around us, coveting the good things other people have, and not thanking God for what we already have. And, who can say if God hasn't already removed the most horrific experiences we could've been previously subjected to?


The path that this toxic mindset inevitably leads towards is complete equality of experiences for all people, at all times, forever. Since we don't live the exact same lives, have the exact same parents, family, friends, job, hobbies, home, location, etc., it is literally impossible for people to have equal experiences. Just being in a different location means we'll inevitably be subjected to variance in good or bad things. This is why the globalist/lefty path of pursuing equal outcomes is so detrimental, destructive, and toxic. It produces perpetual victims who wallow in their own misery, rather than struggle to overcome the challenges they face, who take for granted all of the blessings they have, rather than thank God for all that they have, who want for more and more and more, rather than be content with where they are and how far they've come.


If someone gives you a gift, do you thank them, or become hostile toward them because they didn't give you more gifts?


If you subject yourself to actual struggle, in virtuous pursuit to improve yourself, or your family, community, and people, it will rewire your brain, and I promise you that you'll begin to become more thankful for what you have, and be able to suffer the inequities of life with joy. It's the kinds of things that will make you collapse in exhaustion after finishing, but you'll be filled with joy that you accomplished it. The more that this endeavor to struggle and overcome is directed to your own brothers and people, the more you help them, the more it will be returned in kind. As such, this is the primary danger of our modern corrupted world, convincing people that they're alone, removing the best safety net they have, their own family, friends, community, and people, who will help each other. People forget, though, that communities, all relationships, must be cultivated and tended, lest the vine withers and produces no more fruit.
JesusSupporter33 on scored.co
11 months ago 1 point (+0 / -0 / +1Score on mirror ) 1 child
Based novel writer.

Thanks brother. I wrote something along the same lines in my book during the holocough.

>If you subject yourself to actual struggle, in virtuous pursuit to improve yourself, or your family, community, and people, it will rewire your brain, and I promise you that you'll begin to become more thankful for what you have, and be able to suffer the inequities of life with joy

I have done this. The problem is that I forgot why I was doing this. I have the same problem as the Greek philosophers.. They understood the "how" but didn't understand the "why." I have distanced myself from God and what was once productive has become merely a burden.
ApexVeritas on scored.co
11 months ago 0 points (+0 / -0 )
Thanks for taking the time to read it. I can type fast and at length, so with people's limited time I appreciate all who do read what I write.


> holocough


Ha! Thanks for the laugh.


> I have done this. The problem is that I forgot why I was doing this. I have the same problem as the Greek philosophers.. They understood the "how" but didn't understand the "why." I have distanced myself from God and what was once productive has become merely a burden.


The only entities that can give you the "why" for your life are you and God. Pray, and pray often. Enumerate your problems, concerns, and questions to God. He will give you answers. It may take a while, but He will give them to you.


As for the meaning of life, it's the first chapter of my book. I can copy/paste the entire chapter if you want (and the reasoning for it), but in essence, the meaning of life is to improve ourselves, and whatever groups/communities we're a part of. We are to pursue perfection, even though we can't reach it. This pursuit is quite limited and less rewarding if we do it on our own, and for ourselves. It's far more rewarding if we do it within a healthy community. This is why it's so crucial to find people you align with, and build a community with them. This will take time and effort, as relationships are formed, favors are exchanged, and bonds are built, but it's worth it.


Even if our Christian faith, God doesn't require our works. God has everything He needs. He doesn't need our works, tithes, communion, baptism, or anything else from us. Our works are for our family, friends, church, community, and people. As such, God knows that we need these people for our own health, and encourages us to seek and built communities with such people. Through those communities, we'll be fulfilled and rewarded.


> I have distanced myself from God and what was once productive has become merely a burden.


Take a break. We're not machines. We can't just stack burden after burden after burden on someone's shoulders and expect them to never break. Sometimes we need to rest. God showed this to us, even in creation, when He rested on the 7th day, and commanded us to honor the sabbath (a day of rest every week). Set down your burdens, and rest, if at least for a little while. Rest enables us to appreciate what we have, and tell us why we toil. Men will often work themselves to exhaustion, crisis, and death. Don't do that. Work is meant to provide and enrich us and our people, not to break us. Men in this sphere will also subject themselves to too many evils and horrors of this world and become blackpilled, depressed, and demotivated. Take a break and walk away if you need to. Being informed isn't worth it if it breaks your spirit. There are several people here, just in ConPro, that have taken long breaks from social media, because they needed to. If that's what you need to facilitate your own health, take it. We'll miss you, but we'll support you all the way. The internet isn't worth your sanity.


In any case, I'll repeat my prayer. May God bless you and keep you, protect you, teach you, guide you, and shine His light on you.


It's not said enough among men, but I'll say it here, because it's worth saying. I love you brother. Take care of yourself, because we need all the good men we can gather.
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