Keep in mind I’m a married adult completely independent of my parents.
Anyway, I stopped by their house today and they both started pestering me about recent socio-political and religious view changes my husband and I have had since we got married.
They’re upset we’ve gone more traditional (Anglican) and think we’re “going down the wrong path” (they’re boomer-brained evangelicals who couldn’t care less about tradition or Church authority). They think my husband is a “tyrant” (he leads and I follow, the way it should be). They basically shot down every explanation I had for them about my current views of the church, polity, sacraments, etc.
Then the jews came up.
Now, I’m not exactly *quiet* about (((them))) but I don’t go out of my way to talk about them either. Just a remark here or there. Well, they think I have “bitterness and hate” in my heart. They think my views on them are unfounded. They think I’m not educated about the situation.
Not really sure what to do about this. I stormed out before I said anything I would’ve regretted. My mom already apologized via text. But I’m obviously really upset and distraught about how they’re handling my rapid shift toward traditional values.
Have you guys been in this situation before? How in the world do I handle this? How do I not disappoint my own parents?
tell them exactly where your boundary is and tell them the consequences for violating it. tell them very explicitly that you are a married grown adult, you and your family make their own decisions, and their attempt to take control of your decision making is not only unwanted it will not be tolerated. they will treat you respectfully and with proper manners as they would treat any other adult, respecting your privacy and autonomy. Otherwise your relationship with them will degrade and ultimately end.
this is part of life. putting your parents in their place. some never learn and they consequently have distant or no relationship with their children. some parents have never grown up and aren't actual adults. seems weird but it's not actually all that uncommon.
They think my husband gets too angry during these conversations, but honestly I just think he’s frustrated that they’re not listening at all, and I don’t blame him for getting a little annoyed whenever we discuss these things.
For the time being, I’ll step back and not discuss politics or religion for a bit. This shouldn’t be at the forefront of my mind. Plenty of other things to be concerned about in my life. This is just an extra annoyance.
I'll give my father in law credit though, when I challenge him on some TV opinion he usually gives it up quickly because he realizes he doesn't have anything backing it up but the TV told him so.