Writing the title made me see that it's not the hating per se that is consuming me but rather that the people fucking up the world, their greediness, their degeneracy, their arrogance, their pettiness, their indifference, their stupidity, their superficiality does not get punished.
I am Christian and i understand in an abstract way that they will be punished eventually but i does not help me get over it. Or maybe they will be all forgiven which only irritates me further even though i'm supposed to forgive them too. When all i can think of is that they should suffer (not die or anything, just pain. Not induced by me, just pain that happens to them in various ways)
I also know it's not up to me to judge but FUCK ME there are so many people that are transgressing so bad.
I want out of this rollercoaster of emotions. I don't want to be indifferent to all the evil in the world, i want to know what's happening but at the same time my reaction to people's actions is taking a real toll on my mental and physical health.
It's not like i can laser focus my hate towards them by quantum waves or something, it's only hurting me.
However, they don't have power over you in ways that matter. They can make your material existence miserable but, really, any more miserable than nature itself? But you control your actions, your will, and your integrity.
Someone mentioned that if you hate something, stop it. I agree but, in our world, you have to be prepared to "lose" 1,000 times. You won't see results from one, or ten, or a hundred attempts, other than maintaining your self-respect. But even the slightest opposition is torture to these people. Not using their pronouns causes them to neck themselves; imagine telling them that their gender isn't real at all? They'll cover it in a mask of smug superiority, but every time someone points out their Emperor is naked, the mask cracks.
This goes just as hard for teachers, bureaucrats, or anyone else who is living a shared lie; their world rests on the bubble of concensus. If you want to punish them, speak the Truth, and pop that bubble, every single day.
Rejoice for a dearth or targets.