How Do I Fix This?
(media.scored.co)
Put the fucking phone down and stop jacking off
New here?
Create an account to submit posts, participate in discussions and chat with people.
You must log in or sign up to comment
15 comments:
7
13 hours ago
7 points
(+0
/
-0
/
+7Score on mirror
)
2 children
Permalink
Reply
Mirrored from scored.co
3
7 hours ago
3 points
(+0
/
-0
/
+3Score on mirror
)
But I can only do one thing at a time fren. PICK ONE!
Permalink
Reply
Mirrored from scored.co
0
10 hours ago
0 points
(+0
/
-0
)
Real.
Permalink
Reply
Mirrored from scored.co
This is the best way to start:
Carefully notice this harmful thought process: you'll suddenly remember you need to do a task, then you think about doing it and then you decide to do it tomorrow.
When you do this, you get an instant sense of relief and your brain recognizes it as a reward. You are training your brain to be lazy using relief as a reward for "I'll do it tomorrow".
The best way to stop this behavior is to train yourself to notice this harmful through process and instead of over-thinking or postponing, you NEED to get up and start the task. Get the task done and then you'll feel a sense of achievement and true relief.
Keep doing this to train your brain / subconscious to want the reward of another job well done. This is how you become disciplined in a way that is enjoyable.
---------------------------
If it's a big task such as cleaning out the garage: break the task down to smaller achievable tasks and write those tasks down so you can tick them off your list as you complete them. This will help manage your motivation instead of feeling the whole task is overwhelming.
If it's a task that you REALLY don't want to do, make a contract with yourself to spend ten minutes each day chipping away at it and use a timer.
Everyone can find ten minutes each day and the effort is over quickly so it's not worth complaining about it.
It won't be long until the task is 1/3 complete and you'll start to feel pleased that it's finally getting done.
At the 1/2 way mark, you'll start to feel motivated because most of the work is already done and you can start to see the finish line.
-----------------------------------
TL;DR: You need to retain your brain to enjoy acting on inspiration and understand that enjoyable motivation only comes after the task is underway.
Carefully notice this harmful thought process: you'll suddenly remember you need to do a task, then you think about doing it and then you decide to do it tomorrow.
When you do this, you get an instant sense of relief and your brain recognizes it as a reward. You are training your brain to be lazy using relief as a reward for "I'll do it tomorrow".
The best way to stop this behavior is to train yourself to notice this harmful through process and instead of over-thinking or postponing, you NEED to get up and start the task. Get the task done and then you'll feel a sense of achievement and true relief.
Keep doing this to train your brain / subconscious to want the reward of another job well done. This is how you become disciplined in a way that is enjoyable.
---------------------------
If it's a big task such as cleaning out the garage: break the task down to smaller achievable tasks and write those tasks down so you can tick them off your list as you complete them. This will help manage your motivation instead of feeling the whole task is overwhelming.
If it's a task that you REALLY don't want to do, make a contract with yourself to spend ten minutes each day chipping away at it and use a timer.
Everyone can find ten minutes each day and the effort is over quickly so it's not worth complaining about it.
It won't be long until the task is 1/3 complete and you'll start to feel pleased that it's finally getting done.
At the 1/2 way mark, you'll start to feel motivated because most of the work is already done and you can start to see the finish line.
-----------------------------------
TL;DR: You need to retain your brain to enjoy acting on inspiration and understand that enjoyable motivation only comes after the task is underway.
A) stop drinking caffeine.
B) turn off all the screens. All of them.
C) do things that require your complete focus or you die. Like high speed driving or power tools.
B) turn off all the screens. All of them.
C) do things that require your complete focus or you die. Like high speed driving or power tools.
Thankfully I don't drink caffeine.
My brain is fried from screen use. I will work on cutting down on screen time.
My brain is fried from screen use. I will work on cutting down on screen time.
to add to C, unless he's a terminal case of the OP image, he doesn't need actual life-or-death stuff, but he does need *discipline*. he needs to be put into (put himself into) situations where he needs to man up and focus or something goes completely tits up and he loses very valuable things.
i find that having to work outside in adverse weather has given me immense perspective on what discipline means. on my farm in the first years before we reinforced everything against the weather it was always a mad dash to save things before pouring rain or gale winds destroyed them, and it taught me a lot about doing things even when they're uncomfortable and when you'd rather be doing anything else. hell, you actually learn to feel at peace while enduring discomfort, it felt very masculine in a raw sense.
once you get used to it, it becomes almost trivial to apply to day to day things that also need discipline, like chores or long-form hobby projects.
i find that having to work outside in adverse weather has given me immense perspective on what discipline means. on my farm in the first years before we reinforced everything against the weather it was always a mad dash to save things before pouring rain or gale winds destroyed them, and it taught me a lot about doing things even when they're uncomfortable and when you'd rather be doing anything else. hell, you actually learn to feel at peace while enduring discomfort, it felt very masculine in a raw sense.
once you get used to it, it becomes almost trivial to apply to day to day things that also need discipline, like chores or long-form hobby projects.
coffee is an extremely addictive substance, abuse often leads to the brain not having enough energy to actually FOCUS on tasks
point is, most people drink a shitload of coffee just to function, rather than just as a stimulent
if you want to focus on a task, (singular) simply compartmentalize
do everything by a single objective, rather than trying to multi-task, that way you make the load a lot lighter on the brain which leads to higher function rate, rather than try to do everything at once and overloading the system
point is, most people drink a shitload of coffee just to function, rather than just as a stimulent
if you want to focus on a task, (singular) simply compartmentalize
do everything by a single objective, rather than trying to multi-task, that way you make the load a lot lighter on the brain which leads to higher function rate, rather than try to do everything at once and overloading the system
I remember the day I started retard maxxing by breaking everything down into extremely tiny steps/tasks. It legitimately felt like I unlocked a super power because it made almost everything I undertook become stupid easy. My biggest issue that I still deal with at times, is if I get stuck on a step for more than a day, or two without figuring out what needs to be done. I get super frustrated, and am hesitant to ask for help sometimes because I don’t want to bother anyone, and look like an idiot to my peers, and frens. I know, I know, I’m too old for that shit. Luckily, this doesn’t happen nearly as much as it use to thanks to some great resources on the internet.
Edit: I’ve also read that making a to do list is good for some people to keep them accountable. You make one for the week, and throw it up on the fridge, and check things off as you do them. It gives you a bit of accountability, and everytime you go to the fridge, you have a little reminder of what you’ve accomplished so far. I’ve never done this, but if it works for some, I’m all for it.
I also forgot to add that I find getting a small workout in within the first hour of waking up helps set the tone for the rest of the day. Even if it’s just ten minutes of steady state jump rope in the yard while you get some sun in your eyes, and on your body. Take your shirt off too, and do it barefoot in the grass if you can stand it.
Edit: I’ve also read that making a to do list is good for some people to keep them accountable. You make one for the week, and throw it up on the fridge, and check things off as you do them. It gives you a bit of accountability, and everytime you go to the fridge, you have a little reminder of what you’ve accomplished so far. I’ve never done this, but if it works for some, I’m all for it.
I also forgot to add that I find getting a small workout in within the first hour of waking up helps set the tone for the rest of the day. Even if it’s just ten minutes of steady state jump rope in the yard while you get some sun in your eyes, and on your body. Take your shirt off too, and do it barefoot in the grass if you can stand it.
I feel you brother. What helped me, didn't cure, but helped.
Take up a combat sport, MMA, BJJ, local fight club under the bar, whatever. Something to force focus.
Drop the caffeine (and refined sugars, go keto, lots of fats and eggs).
Turn off the screens, get at least 20 minutes of sun a day.
Take cold showers. Why? If you start your day by forcing yourself to do something miserable, it's easier to keep forcing yourself to do miserable things, otherwise the previous misery is somehow wasted.
This is the biggest one, my grandfather told me it when I was young and I was too stupid to listen. The moment you think of something you need to do or should be doing or have in your hand to do... Do it. Don't procrastinate, don't put it down, don't talk yourself out of it.
At first, this may fuck up your schedule a bit, you're there at work, "I should do some pushups" randomly passes through your brain, make it happen. At first, your brain will rebel and tell you to do these things when least convenient as a fuck you, power struggle. Eventually, if you keep calling your brain's bluff, you will start to gain control. Remember, it's been controlling you and you've just been along for the ride for years.
Take up a combat sport, MMA, BJJ, local fight club under the bar, whatever. Something to force focus.
Drop the caffeine (and refined sugars, go keto, lots of fats and eggs).
Turn off the screens, get at least 20 minutes of sun a day.
Take cold showers. Why? If you start your day by forcing yourself to do something miserable, it's easier to keep forcing yourself to do miserable things, otherwise the previous misery is somehow wasted.
This is the biggest one, my grandfather told me it when I was young and I was too stupid to listen. The moment you think of something you need to do or should be doing or have in your hand to do... Do it. Don't procrastinate, don't put it down, don't talk yourself out of it.
At first, this may fuck up your schedule a bit, you're there at work, "I should do some pushups" randomly passes through your brain, make it happen. At first, your brain will rebel and tell you to do these things when least convenient as a fuck you, power struggle. Eventually, if you keep calling your brain's bluff, you will start to gain control. Remember, it's been controlling you and you've just been along for the ride for years.
tbh a lot of these things are just who you are. best i can think of is try to turn them into strengths. if you got random hyper-interest in something, go all in on something useful that involves it foremost. i spent a week transcribing rare edison cylinders earlier this year, that wasn't necessarily useful but it's something that everyone else waited 125 years to do. sometimes you'll walk away with skills you'll need to use for one reason or another later or you'll carry it as a habit; i've been casually learning japanese for almost three years for an example.
Put yourself in a situation where you either complete a task successfully or die. Repeat until you can call on this power any time.
What do you eat? Most male brain fog these days ultimately stems from chronic low-grade inflammation due to extreme imbalance in the omega fatty acids coupled with near-zero fiber intake, choline deficiency and general testosterone deficiency. It is easy to reverse if you learn about it.
The ADHDoomer loop exists in a paradigm where truth must be *perfectly* understood, that action must be *perfectly* justified, and meaning must be *felt* first. This is what causes paralysis and endless meta-analysis.
The real operational paradigm for the ADHD brain is to act on what is *sufficiently* true and to let action refine understanding and that meaning will emerge from the structure and consistency of doing these things.
The loop *assumes* that clarity will lead to motivation which will lead to action BUT the reality for the ADHD brain is that action will lead to clarity which drives motivation. Because ADHD brains stabilize through interaction with reality... NOT contemplation and abstraction.
On a religious note, the pattern Gospel of John is NOT "understand fully and then follow"... rather its "follow, and you will understand." Understanding of things comes through participation in that something.
Some may say "discipline will fix this"... that is incorrect, that thought still exists within the old paradigm. The issue with the ADHD brain is lack of contact with action NOT discipline. The ADHD mind cannot begin with "I need more discipline" this will yield paralysis as well because you raise the bar and introduce more failure states. No. Just act, do not think. Action for the ADHD mind will lead to consistency. Discipline for the ADHD mind is an emergent property.
Some may say to *not* do something... like putting down the phone and stop watching explicit material, stop drinking caffeine... but this also continues to exist in the old paradigm. Why? because you are continuing to define yourself through avoidance and withdrawal. Not doing things creates a vacuum you have to fill... and this leads to further contemplation with no concrete answer and you relapse. The reality is the “bad” behaviors lose their grip naturally from being engaged in something real.
Never replace an action with a prohibition, replace with another action. Otherwise, you are engaged in an endless spiritual war.
To fix the ADHDoomer mindset - you gotta rebuild it to where thought no longer gates action. Action is allowed to begin imperfectly. Understanding is allowed to follow.
The real operational paradigm for the ADHD brain is to act on what is *sufficiently* true and to let action refine understanding and that meaning will emerge from the structure and consistency of doing these things.
The loop *assumes* that clarity will lead to motivation which will lead to action BUT the reality for the ADHD brain is that action will lead to clarity which drives motivation. Because ADHD brains stabilize through interaction with reality... NOT contemplation and abstraction.
On a religious note, the pattern Gospel of John is NOT "understand fully and then follow"... rather its "follow, and you will understand." Understanding of things comes through participation in that something.
Some may say "discipline will fix this"... that is incorrect, that thought still exists within the old paradigm. The issue with the ADHD brain is lack of contact with action NOT discipline. The ADHD mind cannot begin with "I need more discipline" this will yield paralysis as well because you raise the bar and introduce more failure states. No. Just act, do not think. Action for the ADHD mind will lead to consistency. Discipline for the ADHD mind is an emergent property.
Some may say to *not* do something... like putting down the phone and stop watching explicit material, stop drinking caffeine... but this also continues to exist in the old paradigm. Why? because you are continuing to define yourself through avoidance and withdrawal. Not doing things creates a vacuum you have to fill... and this leads to further contemplation with no concrete answer and you relapse. The reality is the “bad” behaviors lose their grip naturally from being engaged in something real.
Never replace an action with a prohibition, replace with another action. Otherwise, you are engaged in an endless spiritual war.
To fix the ADHDoomer mindset - you gotta rebuild it to where thought no longer gates action. Action is allowed to begin imperfectly. Understanding is allowed to follow.
Toast message