Depression
(media.scored.co)
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I've been in touch with some of the missionaries from your church and I took the lessons and I did get that strange "burning of the bosom" so to speak when they told me to pray over the book but idk it's too far from mainstream Christianity for me and there are strange teaching like many Gods and becoming a God after you die and stuff.
"Becoming a god" is a fundamental Christian doctrine they Western Christianity forgot. "God became man so man can become gods" is a teaching of one of the church father who was at Nicaea
"Many gods" is in the Bible too. IE, Paul taught that Satan is the god of this world.
Mainstream Christianity substituted their own perverted understanding of Greek philosophy mingled with scripture for prophetic counsel. They reject a living God who can speak.