I'm a white man in the UK, and...
I feel so overwhelmingly exhausted it might kill me. I don't want it to kill me. I don't plan on hurting myself or others. I need advice protecting my mind. I need help getting back my energy and ability to enjoy things. If I rest, or try to enjoy anything ever, I feel guilty because I'm not doing anything to help my people survive oppression. It hurts.
When I try to write, it feels impossible to write anything good. Last time I wrote about how much it sucks to live in this regularly bombed dystopian nightmare of a country at constant war, cunts on the internet mocked and harassed me for threatening the lies their regimes told. They demonised me without restraint or mercy. Even mocked me for having a heart condition and being a cancer survivor. My assumption that everyone's human deep down and will be good in places where it's safe to express that humanity was proven false. It feels impossible to convince anyone we're people who don't deserve to be killed and humiliated and wiped out and spat upon. It feels impossible to write anything where we're allowed to exist freely. Fictional worlds where we can be good to one another without our enemies killing us feel as impossible to believe in as worlds where we fight back and win. And when I try writing fiction that isn't about my people, and I try writing fiction about fictional characters I like, it feels like I'm betraying my people. Fiddling while Rome burns.
> It feels impossible to convince anyone we're people who don't deserve to be killed and humiliated and wiped out and spat upon.
If you want to be convincing, you have to approach it smartly. Prepare things you would say, prepare the process, know your shit and know how to respond. And know how to think quickly - but if you can't, use memory and preparation.
For example double down and provoke them. Tell them that you agree that they deserve to be genocided, but why you? Because your people stopped Africans from cannibalism for a while? Built sewage systems in India? Created the concept of not-completely-corrupt police and government? Go for a provocative, sarcastic approach. Or think of other ways.
> It feels impossible to write anything where we're allowed to exist freely.
On the internet? Not impossible for me. But as a Brit, you'll need to make sure to stay anonymous.
> Fictional worlds where we can be good to one another without our enemies killing us feel as impossible to believe in as worlds where we fight back and win.
Well, my game will have that backstory. Whites developed FTL, fled Earth, left it to shitskins and jews, found a new planet, lived in peace for a century. Shitskins picked up the left-over technology, walked up, wanted to settle there too, got annihilated, and the Whites realized this will only end if all brownoid scum is wiped out from existence. In the game this ensures players have something to shoot.
> And when I try writing fiction that isn't about my people, and I try writing fiction about fictional characters I like, it feels like I'm betraying my people.
Do what you are passionate about. It doesn't have to be on-the-nose, you can use fictional settings. In my case faggotry has been cured, and niggers are too worthless to bring into space, so they've been wiped out by the other brownoids.
Trust me, the appeal to anti-subhuman and anti-nigger literature and fiction must be on an all-time high in Britain, possibly Europe- and US-wide too.
For me, that's not my main motivating factor. I want to change minds of people in the direction of TND and TKD. But also create a qualitative game, something that regardless of its setting is great.