Let us face the truth: Friendship, by and large, is essentially an undead, shambling corpse of what it used to be.
The Scamdemic from 2020-2022 was the final nail in the coffin for friendships.
Nowadays, friendship is usually not a tangible thing. It exists in only two ways now:
1. "friends" online, who you never see and only exchange little dumb pixel text with.
2. "friends" in an area that society requires you both to be in, such as work or school.
What is the problem with present day "friendships"?
They are fake.
People you only "meet" online are NOT your friends.
People you only meet in an area you are both demanded to be in are NOT your friends.
If your co-workers never invite you to anything after work, they clearly do not view you as an actual friend.
For some reason, actual friendships have been killed off in exchange for these cargo cult caricatures that I just described.
In a better world, I would not have to explain the decay of friendship as a whole before discussing the inherent issues with friend groups, because true, meaningful friendships would still be common in a better world, but here we are. Now I shall explain the issue with "friend" groups.
If you join a friend group and you are not a founding member, guess what you are?
A newbie.
An outsider.
An unwanted interloper.
That is what the group will view you as if you are not a founding member, and chances are, that is what they will forever view you as.
In friend groups, there is always a pecking order.
The "founders" can do no wrong, are always correct, and are worshipped by the group no matter what.
The "noobs" are lackeys at best, and if a founder has a perceived slight from the noob? The noob shall be ejected forthwith.
People in the present day are so starved for friendship that many will settle for this facade and are ok with being lackeys for people who do not actually view them as friends.
And because there are so many lonely losers, lackies are very easy to replace.
The founders will always be rude to the noobs, but the noobs BETTER NOT blow an OUNCE of that rudeness back at the founders. If they do, it is game over for that "unloyal" drone.
That is why you should NEVER join a friend group unless you are viewed as a founder. Otherwise, it just is not worth it. If they view you as a newbie, you will never "level up", you will probably be viewed as "that weirdo", even if you have been a "member" for years.
Being a founder is like going to a theme park with little to no lines. Being a lackey is like waiting in a line that never moves, or reading a brochure about a theme park instead of actually going to it.
Being a founder is like watching a movie at a theater with your best buds.
Being a lackey is like being the wagecuck who comes into the same theater after the movie ended and has to clean up the founder's slobbery popcorn mess.
Biker gang cults have a saying: "Lead, follow, or get out of the way!"
Do NOT be a lap dog for people who will never throw you a bone.
Be a FOUNDER.
Of course, good luck being a founder of any type of meaningful friendship group in the present day.
The judeo-capitalist urban hellscape has mostly axed true friendship and sense of community.
Being a "founder" of a "friendship" in the current day probably entails being a janny in a discord group that no one posts in.
But still, it is better to be a founder than a follower.
Try not to despair.
Anyway, what do you guys think?
How do you guys try to find true friendship in the present day without becoming a scorned lackey?
The Scamdemic from 2020-2022 was the final nail in the coffin for friendships.
Nowadays, friendship is usually not a tangible thing. It exists in only two ways now:
1. "friends" online, who you never see and only exchange little dumb pixel text with.
2. "friends" in an area that society requires you both to be in, such as work or school.
What is the problem with present day "friendships"?
They are fake.
People you only "meet" online are NOT your friends.
People you only meet in an area you are both demanded to be in are NOT your friends.
If your co-workers never invite you to anything after work, they clearly do not view you as an actual friend.
For some reason, actual friendships have been killed off in exchange for these cargo cult caricatures that I just described.
In a better world, I would not have to explain the decay of friendship as a whole before discussing the inherent issues with friend groups, because true, meaningful friendships would still be common in a better world, but here we are. Now I shall explain the issue with "friend" groups.
If you join a friend group and you are not a founding member, guess what you are?
A newbie.
An outsider.
An unwanted interloper.
That is what the group will view you as if you are not a founding member, and chances are, that is what they will forever view you as.
In friend groups, there is always a pecking order.
The "founders" can do no wrong, are always correct, and are worshipped by the group no matter what.
The "noobs" are lackeys at best, and if a founder has a perceived slight from the noob? The noob shall be ejected forthwith.
People in the present day are so starved for friendship that many will settle for this facade and are ok with being lackeys for people who do not actually view them as friends.
And because there are so many lonely losers, lackies are very easy to replace.
The founders will always be rude to the noobs, but the noobs BETTER NOT blow an OUNCE of that rudeness back at the founders. If they do, it is game over for that "unloyal" drone.
That is why you should NEVER join a friend group unless you are viewed as a founder. Otherwise, it just is not worth it. If they view you as a newbie, you will never "level up", you will probably be viewed as "that weirdo", even if you have been a "member" for years.
Being a founder is like going to a theme park with little to no lines. Being a lackey is like waiting in a line that never moves, or reading a brochure about a theme park instead of actually going to it.
Being a founder is like watching a movie at a theater with your best buds.
Being a lackey is like being the wagecuck who comes into the same theater after the movie ended and has to clean up the founder's slobbery popcorn mess.
Biker gang cults have a saying: "Lead, follow, or get out of the way!"
Do NOT be a lap dog for people who will never throw you a bone.
Be a FOUNDER.
Of course, good luck being a founder of any type of meaningful friendship group in the present day.
The judeo-capitalist urban hellscape has mostly axed true friendship and sense of community.
Being a "founder" of a "friendship" in the current day probably entails being a janny in a discord group that no one posts in.
But still, it is better to be a founder than a follower.
Try not to despair.
Anyway, what do you guys think?
How do you guys try to find true friendship in the present day without becoming a scorned lackey?
I have been getting that critique a bit recently, some are saying I am not as eloquent as I once was.
I have tried to be calm and unopinionated (read: less sperging and crashing out) but I am unsure how to make my text come across as thoughtful/meaningful/intellectual.
Perhaps I simply lack the tact to be a philosopher, at least for the time being.
I just hope that my text comes across as meaningful, as opposed to coming across as bitch babble and retard ramblings.
>People are hierarchical, and we sort ourselves into hierarchies almost automatically. I think what you're saying about "starting" the group applies more to businesses than friend groups. Original founders get all the equity, employees get relative scraps.
I see.
My POV is probably a bit slanted because I do not have luck in fiend groups and the common denominator is that I have never been a founder.
Always viewed as an outsider/interloper.
This has happened to me a few times now, leading me to think that friendships are typically transient in nature, and I also think that lifelong friendships must start in childhood. Adulthood is such a different experience than childhood that I'm wondering if even the concept of friendship just doesn't really translate. I suppose that could partially be due modernity/technology and its isolating effects, I don't think that's the full explanation though.
It is a bonus if you're currently in one, but it's not all-important or necessary at all. I do agree that it's best to be "on your own" instead of the punching bag of some clique.
If it's that important to you, and assuming you're male, you have to be good at something that they care about, like one of the other posters said. If it's sports, you have to be good at sports. If it's music, then music - etc, etc. If you're not good at anything, you should solve that first. You don't have to be uber talented, just able to keep up. The point is, that to get respect from other men, they need to see you as capable in some way. Or, equivalently, you have to add value in some way, as opposed to just being a random dude.
The other angle to this, is that, there are degen friend groups out there that you should avoid anyway. Vetting is a two-way street.
I don't know, just some random thoughts. It's an interesting topic.