I have some serious issues lads and I think it's all spawning from crippling depression. I simply can not find a purpose in life. Furthermore, I am horribly lonely. I finally managed to have a girl stick around for a few months but she left me. For those few months I felt like a real person.
I simply can't get motivated enough to pull myself from the pit. Consume Product and clean living kings turned my life around years ago but I am falling back into the abyss.
How does one cure crippling depression? God's trials are killing me.
As for the cause, it depends on whether the root of your negative feelings are chemical, existential, or a combination of the two. The obvious self check: Diet? Exercise? Daily routine? Social grounding? Too much doomscrolling? If an honest assessment brings up something seriously lacking, then addressing that is likely to resolve a significant portion of the suffering, if not fix it entirely. But it will feel worse before it gets better.
If it's more existential, then that requires thinking more abstractly. You're right—everyone needs a purpose, and it's your job to discover what that is for you.
Of course, having God and religion is a very strong component to have in relation to that, but it is rarely the source of existential *purpose* for most people. Rather, it is a pillar of existential *scaffolding.* Very few believers actually fill a life's worth of meaning with that alone—such as by becoming a monk, church councilman, or spiritually charged spouse.
You should develop some sort of personal goal, hobby, or craft that you anchor the “purpose” portion of your identity to. If you're artistically inclined, try to create your magnum opus. If you feel most alive in the fires of athleticism, perhaps master a martial art. If consumed by passion for the White race, perhaps you become a sticker scout of the urban frontier—slapping pro-White messaging on every piece of jewish infrastructure you can find.
Really, I can only speculate on this point in relation to you, especially because I am extremely unlike most people in this regard—and can't easily stand in their shoes. It is *highly* personal to each and every individual what the best fit for this will be. God made us all wildly different from each other, even within our racial bounds. You have to think hard on it—but with the determined resolve to not give up until you discover what it is.
As an side—don't force your overt life goal to be something "based," if you're not truly cut out for that (I know I'm not.) If you try to fit a mold that you can't pour your whole, unfettered self into with earnest passion, you will very likely make your problem worse.
As for the loneliness point, there is no true “quick fix” for that problem, despite its proliferation and long term severity. But I'll offer you a trick that sounds faggy, but can genuinely help if you can do it without irony: somatic self soothing.
When you're lying comfortable in bed, wrap your arms tightly around your chest or shoulders. Or wrap only one arm, and massage your chest and shoulders with the opposite hand. You can also try hugging a blanket or pillow.
Try to put yourself in a deeply relaxed state, and hum, shush, or speak soothingly to yourself—using the words you'd most like to hear to ease your woes. If you allow yourself to fully sink into it, then it will simulate the sensation of being physically held and emotionally regulated.
The limbic system does not work like higher intellect—you can cause it to release oxytocin (bonding chemical) through certain physical sensations and mental cues even in the absence of another person. It will literally interpret you as being held by yourself as though you were a separate nervous system. I believe its effectiveness scales based on how vivid your imagination is.
That being said, it's a bandaid. Another person’s presence *is* required in order to “close the loop,” and not leave you hanging once you have to come out of it. But if you're really starving for touch, it is genuinely capable of taking the edge off, and is better than nothing in that case. I can tell you this works from my many years of living in isolation without regular human contact.
In any case, life is cyclical. Don't lose heart, for this too shall pass. Someday, you'll once again experience something that causes you to think—“I'm really glad I'm still here.” If you only carry on long enough to make it.
> But I'll offer you a trick that sounds faggy, but can genuinely help if you can do it without irony: somatic self soothing
Yes that was quite faggy but I might give it a go lol.