Consume Product

Sounds like we are on the same part of our journey. I started listening to the orthodox fathers in the past year and their words really move me. Still learning a lot and not sure if I'll convert but their messages are invaluable regardless.

I'd like to share my recent experience with you. I've always went to church and believed in Christ my whole life, but like most people I still wanted to "do my own thing" most of the time. In the past year or so I started to feel myself yearning to be closer to God, so I started trying to learn more and more. I started really becoming aware of my sins and trying to repent. One morning I woke up and the moment I opened my eyes I realised my perspective had changed, I knew right away that God had softened my heart and put me in front of the mirror so I could see myself. I saw that my biggest sin was hating others, and from that moment I dont feel like that anymore.

I realised all the things that had influenced me to make my heart dark and cold. One example is music, I've always liked music with evil themes and I thought it didnt effect me but now I realised how detrimental it was to think themes of death and suffering, ect. were cool.

Now that I'm aware it's just a battle of fighting my impulsive reactions that I've had for my whole life until now. Simple things like not cursing someone who cuts me off in traffic or wanting to punch an old lady who's blocking the aisle in the grocery store. I'm trying to love people who are close to me that have fundamental differences in beliefs instead of looking at them with distain. I've even felt repelled to come to this site because it stirs my animosity toward others in bad way, discussions like this are the only reason I'm here.

I never type this much but thanks for listening, would like to hear anything you want to share as well.