I meet a girl at church and we've been dating for a few months. She's literally a debt free virgin with no tattoos. She can cook. She's very nice. She likes me a lot. She wants to have kids, is good with kids, and would like to stay at home taking care of them, at least for their youngest years. She's open to homeschooling. She says she's not cut out for a career and doesn't understand why women try to prioritize them. That said, she is smart and has a good job and can take care of herself responsibly. Her parents are very well off. She respects men and men's roles, and believes in the biblical arrangement of the woman being subordinate to the man. She is very emotionally aware, even of her own flaws and biases, and she's communicates well about it. We have many overlapping media interests when it comes to nerdy stuff, but she shares my view that it's cringey to obsess too much over as an adult, and that most new stuff is pretty bad and/or degenerate. She is willing to stand by her own perspective, (which is always reasonable), even when it puts her at odds with the typical consensus, even of a female social group. She thinks I am funny and she is encouraging. We worked together on a minor construction project and worked well as a team.
However, I simply don't long to be with her. She's not my type physically. We get along well personality wise, but I find nothing especially enchanting about her presence. She doesn't light up my day. She doesn't inspire me. I don't miss her when we're apart.
I also haven't revealed my power level. She's on board with typical un-PC ideas like "It's shitty when they try to inject diversity into everything", and she has some based biblical takes. But I haven't tested her any further than that, such as with opinions like "We don't need a border wall when a couple pickup trucks with mounted machine guns would do the trick."
She ticks so many boxes on paper that I feel it'd be crazy to pull away. But I'm just not feeling anything. I can tell she's falling for me a lot more than I'm falling for her. I worry that if I can't love her, then who can I love? How am I going to find anyone else like this? And if I did, would I feel the same? Have I been alone too long to form a real relationship? Or have I been alone too long to see the specialness of a relationship when I find one?
I promise that ConPro is not the only place I'm looking to for advice. But I do want to hear what you have to say. Thanks, bros.
