I became Christian about 7 years ago. I spent a few years preparing to go to the churches by extensively studying the scripture. I did not ever consult any established doctrine and I did not ask people questions where I was confused. Instead I continued reading and, in some cases it took years to answer a question. My understanding of the scripture is more or less the product of my own experience, though retained by my brief childhood Sunday school education, which allowed me not to fall into utter deviation from established normalcy.
About 3 years ago, I started looking for a church and engaging with their doctrines. I had assumed that Christians were largely like I was, seeking to forego the flesh in search of the spirit. How wrong I was.
The first church I stepped into in my entire adult life told me that sin had no consequence, that a Christian was free to do whatever he wanted. Salvation could not be revoked. I was very confused, as I had until that point never come across this theology.
From that point on, I became hyper aware of this poisonous doctrine. I started prodding the people online who would always post Jesus stuff. The answer was always: salvation comes upon confession of Christ and can not be revoked EVER. You are without sin from that point on, and there is no point to even trying to better yourself, as you're then possessed by the holy spirit and everything you do is good.
This preposterous self righteousness is always followed by a wag of the finger: oh, you ignorant simpleton! Charity and virtue don't actually matter. You're just a Papist, an idolatrous Mary worshipping Satanist!
Now, here I am struggling against the flesh in the name of my God and everywhere I seek refuge I find people who have adopted the flesh while invoking Jesus and wagging their finger at me. Working out is a sin, but not eating McDonalds. These people have turned their sin into virtue, and where I seek to better virtue, they have labeled it sin. I found little of anything but a stumbling block in the Churches. This includes the Orthodox and Catholic Churches. That said, I have great respect for the traditions of Catholic Church and I believe that their theology is the most correct that I have come across.
Recently, it seems that I have fallen into some sort of apostacy. I am not turning from Christ or from God, but rather I am freeing myself from the reigns of established doctrine. I have taken a second look into the Old Testament for justification.
Within it we see what must be considered to be obvious sin, though these people are named saints. We see blatant lies told by Jacob and Judith, deception, genocide, polygamy, racialism, conquests, etc.
There are two consensuses I am told, the first by anti-jews who try to separate us from them as much as possible and on the other hand the usual explanation by the churches. 1. The OT is a product of satanic jewry and should be utterly disregarded or 2. it simply doesn't apply to us and was a blessed covenant between only God and Israel. Both of which are incorrect notions.
Only a portion of the OT is fulfilled. The LAW of MOSES has been identified in the NT as a physical law, produced in an attempt to keep the ever straying ancient Israelites from devil worship. This is Numbers, Duet, Lev. That said, where God says something is an abomination, he did not change his mind. The lessons provided in the OT are absolutely relevant when taken in context with the words of Jesus: *Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.*
When we witness what we might understand to be a sinful act in the OT, it is actually blessed because it was done for the honor or salvation of Israel. Now, we must understand, physical ISRAEL means nothing. We, who are the children of God, are Israel in spirit and we have inherited the Promise of Abraham. The sons of Jacob (who are mostly completely unrelated to the modern jews), who did not convert to Christ, are lost forever. They are cursed and have race mixed themselves out of existence. When Paul says "there is no difference between jew or Greek," he is not speaking to offend the gentile, he is speaking to depredate the jew. He says, you are not special any more, you are not solely God's people. The infidel jew has no salvation by blessing (or curse rather) of blood.
So this is the lesson: the OT applies to us. No, not circumcision. Not "don't eat pork." Not "don't wear two fabrics of differing material." This is the law of Moses and it is fulfilled by Christ, you MUST understand the difference between the Mosaic law and natural law. The contract from Moses is ended. Rather, it is the lessons of Israel itself that apply to us. When pressed by the infidel, do as Israel did. Any act, done in faith, which procures the salvation of God's people (the Christian) is permissible in the eyes of the Holy.
The Muslims and jews have adopted these lessons into their own doctrine and are more or less impervious to infiltration and even more adept at attack. These lessons were at one time incorporated into Christian government but have long been tossed aside. Modern Christians on the other hand have become confined by their supposed honor and moralism. But ironically, going into the churches I found people who did not seem to care for self dignity, honor or for moralism, as I was even told by a preacher about a girl's volleyball game that would be happening after church, as if I'd be interested in watching girls bounce around. I was struggling with nofap at the time.
It seems that this current variation of Christendom is more or less dead. While the infidel worked, Christians relaxed. When struggling, not for Christendom as a whole but for individual admittance into Heaven. God does not favor the idle, but the diligent. God does not favor the single, but the many, though the single will surely be blessed. I think it is time to put the failing doctrines of man to rest. The pearl clutching moralism, the hypocrisy, the denial. Justification and purpose must be found only in scripture. The lessons of the OT can not be forgotten. Christendom must become as Israel was, unified as virtuous brothers and sisters against the infidel, doing charity for one another and working tirelessly against those who would wish to destroy us. Not confined by silly notions of moralism against those who have none and who wish to see us in hell with them.
