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Sheeeeeeiiit, how dafuq am I supposed to ride dis muhfuggin thing, nigga, it's got like some slinky sheeeeit all over it, nigga, dey both muhfuggin do. Wetin dafuq is dis sheeeeit, nigga?

Lemme see, lemme see if I can untangle that sheeeeiit, nigguh. Then I gonna steal dis muhfuggin bike and go to muh bro u/FeloniusNiggums to get sum hard n crack n K2 n sheeeit.

AW SHEEEEEEEEIIITTTT, nigguh, I be muhfuggin all tangled up in dis sheeeeit! Nigguh, I be all tangled up n dis sheeeit, aw sheeeeit, nigga, I be all tangled up n sheeeeit. It's like I'm being muhfuggin lynched by this slinky thing, nigga, AW SHEEEEEIIITTTT!!! I MUTHAFUGGIN CAN'T BREATHE, NIGGUH! I MUHFUGGIN CAN'T BREATHE!

Apparently bolting it down quite literally stops them from stealing it but than they just totally annihilate it out of anger because of nigger brain. If i can steal it i will destroy it so you can’t have it.

Guess they pissed off the bicycle shop guy.

There's gotta be a better way