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We snuck some explosive hot curry into the Ganges, from which Pardeep started guzzling. He was chugging that curry down, litre after litre, like there was no tomorrow. But we had no idea that he was a truck driver, that he was attending the 'Ganges-guzzling for Ganesh' festival, or about the sheer mayhem that was about to ensue.

As soon as the curry settled down in Pardeep's system... you should have seen it. He became a real WMD. A real Weapon of Mass Defecation. He wasn't nuclear, biological, or chemical. He was nuclear, biological *and* chemical. An NBC WMD, a real superweapon. He was pooping extra hot curry and Ganges plastic that had been molten by it all over the inside of the truck. It was like some kind of nuclear fission or fusion thing, some kind of nuclear meltdown, was going on in his Chernobyl-like stomach. Pardeep was screaming at the top of his lungs at the sheer power of the explosion emanating within his failing digestive system. He lost control both of his bowels and his truck. His curry turd was like Anthrax mixed with nuclear waste. We tried to measure the radioactivity of it, but the Geiger counter literally exploded along with all of the rest of Pardeep.

This video captures the aftermath of it all. The curry crap-filled cabin careening into the curry-chugging crowd. Sudip was the first to be hit. He was just eating human tandoori - they got the meat straight from a fresh corpse floating down the Ganges. Next was Ranjeet, then Ashiq... I can't even name them all. A lot of fine locals became fresh meat for human masala that evening. The good news is that all of them have transmigrated: the best of them are now cows, a few that were morally deficient are now flies, so we didn't actually lose anyone at all. For Indians never truly die.