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CaptainTrouble on scored.co
28 days ago4 points(+0/-0/+4Score on mirror)2 children
I feel like at one point in my life I had a choice to become schizophrenic if I continued down the path I was on or not.
The path I was on was overthinking everything to the point of losing control of thinking. However, it was a special kind of thinking which was interpretation. Being able to see 1 thing and then see everything that 1 thing meant similar to a metaphor for seeing all the lines of code in the matrix or something. It started to impact my relationships because someone would say/do something and I'd already conclude 100 steps ahead of what that action/word meant beyond even their comprehension so they'd think I was "crazy". And often, as is the case with people, the interpretations were rarely good and revealed hidden motives they may not have even been aware of or were ready to accept of themselves. I realized of course that my mind could only interpret things based on what I already knew so my perceptions were often wrong from the perspective of "the other" but my perceptions weren't necessarily objectively wrong when evaluated using only the framework I would use to interpret things based on what I already knew.
Regardless, it wasn't helping me in any way and causing problems so I put the brakes on. I actually started drinking to drown out the thoughts because alcohol made it more difficult for my mind to make connections. Eventually, I learned to control it sober by "acting stupid". Basically, take everything that happened or someone did at face-value without anything additional to it. On the extreme, I'd go from watching a movie and having a billion interpretations about it to watching it and not knowing what anything meant.
Over time, I started opening up the thoughts again but trying to calibrate it to what I thought average people were "okay" with. Before, someone could say 1 sentence to me and I'd already know their entire life story then communicate to them as if this information was obvious but when I calibrated, I'd at most reveal the 1 or 2 obvious deductions while maintaining 3 or 4 in secret and completely shutting out anything further.
I once had someone describe it to me when I had it turned on that it was as if I was looking into someone's soul.
I've now put the brakes on for so long, when I try to turn it back on it's as if I've forgotten how though, I know if I truly wanted to turn it on I could so the forgetting how is actually a bit of a mindtrick because I'm scared of going down that hole again.
I've also never really properly calibrated it. I still come off weird to people unless they ask to get a glimpse of everything I'm thinking and then they're usually either amazed or they think I'm crazy. I have a hard time knowing exactly what I need to communicate of what I'm thinking to get people to think I'm normal. I also have a hard time remembering things in general because so much goes on in my head.
I would say based on my experience and brain that schizophrenia is when someone losses the ability to brake. The thoughts run wild to the point that they over stimulate receptors and once your mind is overstimulated in this way you start to perceive things that aren't actually there but are actually there as fragments of something. Then, since our mind can only create a perception based on what we already know, the mind starts to fill in the gaps with what it already knows which leads to a lot of "demons" or heaven vs. hell interpretations in the mind because these are things we're exposed of and already know.
There's also the reverse perspective. It's not that schizophrenics are perceiving demons, but rather it's that schizophrenics are perceiving things which aren't perceivable to others and this sort of perception has been associated in history with "it must be demons". You know how someone has a "they look sick" look to them at times? White blood cell count is high because of some infection and it slightly changes their look. A schizophrenic might be able to perceive this and if their brain isn't so fried that they've lost the ability to understand what they perceived and communicate it, they might say to that person infront of a group that they are sick and may die. Then the person gets symptoms later and dies. The perception to those who don't understand was that the schizophrenic was demonic and cursed the sick person but that's not the case. A schizophrenic might also perceive that another person is evil and will do serious harm before that person even knows it which may lead to crazy reactions.
The big problem IMO is when the schizophrenic themselves are an evil person, so say jews. The objective interpretations of the schizophrenic may be accurate either way (whether they are good or evil) but what an evil person who is schizo does with that knowledge vs. a good person will change drastically.
IMO it's not that schizophrenics see demons or are influenced by demons but they perceive the impacts of demons on others and schizos can then take actions to either do good or evil based on that knowledge, like anyone in this world; however, the lack of brakes on the thinking will overload the brain and cause damage that inevitably will lead to an evil end more times than not if the brakes are never applied (think out of control automobile you can't brake. It's going to crash and the result will be bad even if before this crash, the ride is fun).
28 days ago1 point(+0/-0/+1Score on mirror)1 child
Interesting theories not sure how accurate they are though.
Curious if you're skinny or have found it easy to maintain a low body fat?
I can be prone to over thinking and have found it easy to stay in great shape, granted, I do exercise but am curious if over thinking helps burn calories.
I think it has little to do with overthinking. My dad used to be really skinny. He'd get made fun of for being skinny despite eating tons of food. I was 135 pounds when I graduated high school and spent the next 10 years trying everything to gain weight. It wasn't until my late 20s where I started to gain some weight and got up to 170 at my peak but hovered around 165. Now that I'm almost 40, I managed to get to 195 (not really fat, because I go to the gym so it was well distributed but I had a bit of a belly going). I'm down to 185 now and have been trying to get to 175ish but it's a lot harder to lose weight now than it was when I was younger. I think that's just normal metabolism with age stuff.
27 days ago1 point(+0/-0/+1Score on mirror)1 child
> However, it was a special kind of thinking which was interpretation. Being able to see 1 thing and then see everything that 1 thing meant similar to a metaphor for seeing all the lines of code in the matrix or something. It started to impact my relationships because someone would say/do something and I'd already conclude 100 steps ahead of what that action/word meant beyond even their comprehension so they'd think I was "crazy".
This sounds like the same process by which leftists find racism in everything. Their whole philosophy is about interpretation.
The problem is that the interpretations find possible meanings and intentions, not actual ones. So leftists end up accusing their fellow leftists of racist intentions that aren't even real, with absolute conviction. This is why the left is so famous for eating their own.
Yes, exactly which is why leftists seem almost schizo-like. But if it was true schizophrenia it would consume them to the point of insanity for many it's more schizo-type but maybe many of them "have a choice", like I did.
I used to be a leftist before I rejected it all because I realized the truth. I used to advocate communism when I was a teenager and in my early adulthood I was anti-theist and believes we needed more taxes (or government in general) to solve all our problems like climate change. I realized the truth around the same time I rejected the schizo-type thoughts. So, perhaps there's a connection.
27 days ago2 points(+0/-0/+2Score on mirror)1 child
Regarding that "choice" thing, I read the account of one schizophrenic who said similar things to you about overanalyzing everything. One day, he chose to perceive a statue to be talking. That was the point of no return. Once he heard the statue talk, he was fully schizophrenic and there was nothing he could do about it.
I also knew another guy who said similar things. I actually thought he was too far gone and he essentially dropped most of his connections with friends/family, then disappeared but it was obviously a his choice not a suicide/something happened to him.
3 months later he reconnected with people and he was pretty much "normal". He said God gave him the choice to lobotomize himself or continue down the path into insanity and he chose the former.
The path I was on was overthinking everything to the point of losing control of thinking. However, it was a special kind of thinking which was interpretation. Being able to see 1 thing and then see everything that 1 thing meant similar to a metaphor for seeing all the lines of code in the matrix or something. It started to impact my relationships because someone would say/do something and I'd already conclude 100 steps ahead of what that action/word meant beyond even their comprehension so they'd think I was "crazy". And often, as is the case with people, the interpretations were rarely good and revealed hidden motives they may not have even been aware of or were ready to accept of themselves. I realized of course that my mind could only interpret things based on what I already knew so my perceptions were often wrong from the perspective of "the other" but my perceptions weren't necessarily objectively wrong when evaluated using only the framework I would use to interpret things based on what I already knew.
Regardless, it wasn't helping me in any way and causing problems so I put the brakes on. I actually started drinking to drown out the thoughts because alcohol made it more difficult for my mind to make connections. Eventually, I learned to control it sober by "acting stupid". Basically, take everything that happened or someone did at face-value without anything additional to it. On the extreme, I'd go from watching a movie and having a billion interpretations about it to watching it and not knowing what anything meant.
Over time, I started opening up the thoughts again but trying to calibrate it to what I thought average people were "okay" with. Before, someone could say 1 sentence to me and I'd already know their entire life story then communicate to them as if this information was obvious but when I calibrated, I'd at most reveal the 1 or 2 obvious deductions while maintaining 3 or 4 in secret and completely shutting out anything further.
I once had someone describe it to me when I had it turned on that it was as if I was looking into someone's soul.
I've now put the brakes on for so long, when I try to turn it back on it's as if I've forgotten how though, I know if I truly wanted to turn it on I could so the forgetting how is actually a bit of a mindtrick because I'm scared of going down that hole again.
I've also never really properly calibrated it. I still come off weird to people unless they ask to get a glimpse of everything I'm thinking and then they're usually either amazed or they think I'm crazy. I have a hard time knowing exactly what I need to communicate of what I'm thinking to get people to think I'm normal. I also have a hard time remembering things in general because so much goes on in my head.
I would say based on my experience and brain that schizophrenia is when someone losses the ability to brake. The thoughts run wild to the point that they over stimulate receptors and once your mind is overstimulated in this way you start to perceive things that aren't actually there but are actually there as fragments of something. Then, since our mind can only create a perception based on what we already know, the mind starts to fill in the gaps with what it already knows which leads to a lot of "demons" or heaven vs. hell interpretations in the mind because these are things we're exposed of and already know.
There's also the reverse perspective. It's not that schizophrenics are perceiving demons, but rather it's that schizophrenics are perceiving things which aren't perceivable to others and this sort of perception has been associated in history with "it must be demons". You know how someone has a "they look sick" look to them at times? White blood cell count is high because of some infection and it slightly changes their look. A schizophrenic might be able to perceive this and if their brain isn't so fried that they've lost the ability to understand what they perceived and communicate it, they might say to that person infront of a group that they are sick and may die. Then the person gets symptoms later and dies. The perception to those who don't understand was that the schizophrenic was demonic and cursed the sick person but that's not the case. A schizophrenic might also perceive that another person is evil and will do serious harm before that person even knows it which may lead to crazy reactions.
The big problem IMO is when the schizophrenic themselves are an evil person, so say jews. The objective interpretations of the schizophrenic may be accurate either way (whether they are good or evil) but what an evil person who is schizo does with that knowledge vs. a good person will change drastically.
IMO it's not that schizophrenics see demons or are influenced by demons but they perceive the impacts of demons on others and schizos can then take actions to either do good or evil based on that knowledge, like anyone in this world; however, the lack of brakes on the thinking will overload the brain and cause damage that inevitably will lead to an evil end more times than not if the brakes are never applied (think out of control automobile you can't brake. It's going to crash and the result will be bad even if before this crash, the ride is fun).
Curious if you're skinny or have found it easy to maintain a low body fat?
I can be prone to over thinking and have found it easy to stay in great shape, granted, I do exercise but am curious if over thinking helps burn calories.
This sounds like the same process by which leftists find racism in everything. Their whole philosophy is about interpretation.
The problem is that the interpretations find possible meanings and intentions, not actual ones. So leftists end up accusing their fellow leftists of racist intentions that aren't even real, with absolute conviction. This is why the left is so famous for eating their own.
I used to be a leftist before I rejected it all because I realized the truth. I used to advocate communism when I was a teenager and in my early adulthood I was anti-theist and believes we needed more taxes (or government in general) to solve all our problems like climate change. I realized the truth around the same time I rejected the schizo-type thoughts. So, perhaps there's a connection.
3 months later he reconnected with people and he was pretty much "normal". He said God gave him the choice to lobotomize himself or continue down the path into insanity and he chose the former.