Consume Product

Another way I think it could be worded is—resolve your trauma. Face your demons. Etc. Especially those that are rooted in or have an effect on how you relate to women. If you had an abusive dad, no dad, narcissistic mom, someone else who hurt you, etc—get to the bottom of that, and do the work to heal it.

I know talk of "trauma" in the mental health sense tends to live in the realm of leftism, while over here we talk more about just toughing through it, give it to God, etc. Those things are well and good, but I strongly believe based on my lived experience that most people today have been seriously fucked up in their developmental years in some way. This is *invariably* the case for anyone who suffers from any form of sexual dysfunction (which it sounds like you do.)

And if the damage runs deeply enough, you won't fully resolve it if you don't approach it with intellectual honesty on therapeutic grounds (even if you are your own therapist.) Otherwise you won't actually be able to integrate it and anchor to the world in a healthy manner, no matter how hard you try to mask it in a can-do attitude, prayer, or stoicism.

"You should figure out what fucked up shit you have going on, because just like how you don't want a fucked up woman, no serious woman is going to want a fucked up man."

right before the sentence you had a question about, there is this extremely pertinent and insightful piece of advice. take it to heart and follow it.

attachment style - I believe he means what attaches you to damaging women. men release vasopressin after sex which leads to chemically-induced feelings of attachment and "love", and this is most likely your blind spot. realize the drugs your brain-glands are dumping into your brain and try not to be a dumb dumb about it.

You're welcome brother. Attachment styles are basically the result of how you received love from your parents (if at all) as a child. What happened in your relationship with your parents when you were a kid sets the tone for the rest of your relationships going forward. The problem is that it is a subconscious bias or reaction. So it is virtually impossible to root out unless you know what you're looking for.

For me, I have an avoidant attachment style. I probably will for the rest of my life, but now that I know what causes it and what emotions I feel in response to certain stimulus, I can identify the emotions and not let them influence my decisions like I did with past relationships before I was able to understand what was going on. This is essentially the core principle of emotional intelligence. If you can use the logical part of your brain to identify the emotion you are feeling along with its source and the reason you are feeling it, you can control it instead of being controlled by it.

https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/attachment-and-adult-relationships

I just think this is a good place to start because it helped me realize that you need to look farther back to your childhood to find the root of some of your problems. Many ingrained detrimental behaviors or habits come from fucked up shit that happened in your childhood. They are basically unhealthy coping mechanisms because you didn't get what you needed when you were developing.