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I do! It's a blessing to have children so close in age, and all mine are roughly two years apart. But it's also very exhausting at times, and those particular ages, 2 and 4, are particularly challenging. So keep heart. You're in the thick of it with discipline and teaching with two little ones learning freedom and testing boundaries. If you get get your oldest children well trained, it makes all the subsequent children much easier to train. (so don't be worried to have more children, it gets easier!)



I like to play a lot of games when they're little like Red Light, Green Light and Mama Says (like Simon Says). We play with cars or dolls and role play scenarios of them listening well or being naughty. I send them on "adventures" around the house to go find "treasures" that they have to listen carefully to in order to find.



We also read aloud, which teaches over time to sit still and be quiet. For little kids this may only be a few minutes to start. Praise them and keep extending the time. I don't let them interrupt and I make them "give me your eyes" (attention) when I'm talking to them. If I give an instruction, I make sure they've physically stopped moving, are looking at me and turned to me. Sometimes they just get so excited running and playing it looks like they're listening, but they're not. If it something truly important, I crouch on their level and maintain eye contact.



I have a lot of little sayings to help "cue" them to remembering good habits. Things like, if we're waiting in line at a store what a good time that is for us to "practice our patience"... "Listen and obey right away, all the way, and with a happy heart".... And in the case of play time or in group settings, "even in play, we must obey." To help them learn authority, we also will ask, "Whose the boss?" So if we were to leave them in church nursery, we would say, "Mama and your father are going to big church, you're going to stay here. Who is the boss while we're gone? Miss Ashley, right, she is your boss while we're gone. If Miss Ashley says it's time to sit and listen to the Bible story, you're going to listen to her."




What can be challenging in particular is having to discipline in group settings, but the children must know the rules of the family extend beyond the four walls of your home. There's been many shopping trips I've spent with a toddler's nose spent in the corner of a store in "time out," or times I've removed my child from church nursery to make them sit in the lobby for misbehaving, or times we left an event or something fun they wanted to do to take a break in the car. Discipline is never pleasant at the time, like it says in Hebrews... For the parent, either. If they wrong someone, they must apologize, either in person or in a note. I remember dragging my four year old son once to our neighbor's house to apologize to her for throwing rocks at her house. Not pleasant for either of us lol.



It's extremely helpful to have a plan of how to respond (and/or a list of consequences.) Especially when you're tired, in the thick of newborn days, when overstimulated from toddler sounds all day. They're so noisy. Some years I've literally written it out for myself; if this child does this, then I will respond by doing that. I stuck it on the fridge, bathroom mirrors, anywhere to give my brain a break.



But the most helpful thing is to be proactive. Tell the children the expectation first, getting down on their level and maintaining full attention. Tell them what to expect. Tell them what the consequence is if they fail. Lavish praise on them when they succeed! As they get older, this effort can grow more collaborative, but in the early days they need to know, Dad's the boss, Mom and Dad are a Team, they are your authority and you must obey if you want your life to go well for you. (Mom and Dad are also under God's Authority, though they'll understand this more as they get older.)



Sending special prayers and encouragement for your wife as this effort is very tiresome day in and day out. What she has to know is that THIS is the most important job, discipling and raising these young souls. Laundry can wait, errands can be skipped. This is the job.



"Gentle parenting" is a catchy trend right now, and while it's right to be loving, kind, and respectful to our children we also must enforce high expectations as we want their lives to go well for them. Keep the goal in mind to aim for their hearts, and not just outward behavior. You want the child to obey because he loves you and wants to please you, versus he's afraid of you (a little fear is ok, lol). Remind her that the home isn't a democracy, but a kingdom, and she is the queen of her domain. Heavy is the crown.




She will need energy to deal with this day in and day out, so encourage her and love her well. Prioritize sleep, have mandatory daily quiet time so she can rest, utilize those loop earplugs to help dampen the noise, have something to help sustain and encourage her. For me, I have a spot in my room that is child free. I have a comfy chair, my Bible and books, I bring my tea and a nice candle and snacks and I can just take a fifteen minute break occasionally to recharge when needed.



God bless you both! Sorry this was so long. If you want to chat through practical examples let me know.