removed
> working title "Chronicles of Ord"
I know it's a working title, but assuming you haven't made a decision yet:
Naming things is difficult. Ideally you have a catchy name that itself attracts the attention of people. It doesn't have to be accurate - so even if that title fits IF you'd have read the thing, it's not ideal. The word "chronicles" is a little meh. It's like history of something you don't know/care about yet.
"Ord" is a weird name for a solar system. One would think it's about Ord, the friendly janitor next-doors. However if you could think of a good name for a solar system, and just name it that, it could be a good title. For example:
Wolfram B-7
Wolfram B-77
The naming pattern indicates that it's a name for a solar system, so it's sci-fi, and it indicates that it's about that particular solar system. And it contains a single word, which is generally aesthetically superior. The suffix ensures its uniqueness, and adds a number to it. I am not sure how well numbers in titles are perceived, but I personally like it.
> the First Ordic Empire
Well, "Ordic" sounds quite well. If you could change "Ord" to something like "Ordos" or "Ordeus", it would sound better, and the "Ordic" word could stay.
> there is so much more. way too much more but that's for whenever, not right now.
The story sounds fine. It ultimately depends on the details anyway, meaning the actual text.
I know it's a working title, but assuming you haven't made a decision yet:
Naming things is difficult. Ideally you have a catchy name that itself attracts the attention of people. It doesn't have to be accurate - so even if that title fits IF you'd have read the thing, it's not ideal. The word "chronicles" is a little meh. It's like history of something you don't know/care about yet.
"Ord" is a weird name for a solar system. One would think it's about Ord, the friendly janitor next-doors. However if you could think of a good name for a solar system, and just name it that, it could be a good title. For example:
Wolfram B-7
Wolfram B-77
The naming pattern indicates that it's a name for a solar system, so it's sci-fi, and it indicates that it's about that particular solar system. And it contains a single word, which is generally aesthetically superior. The suffix ensures its uniqueness, and adds a number to it. I am not sure how well numbers in titles are perceived, but I personally like it.
> the First Ordic Empire
Well, "Ordic" sounds quite well. If you could change "Ord" to something like "Ordos" or "Ordeus", it would sound better, and the "Ordic" word could stay.
> there is so much more. way too much more but that's for whenever, not right now.
The story sounds fine. It ultimately depends on the details anyway, meaning the actual text.
What would be better and more "on the nose" is to show the utopia that emerges from an ethnicity which is ethnically homogeneous and similar to Whites, and the problems foreigners cause. Or just have them be maximum racist.