Too many people responded to my last post with "Where do you find friends?"
Apparently, either you are too depressed to live on planet earth, or a jew, but hoping that it is the former, let me explain how friends work to those of you who grew up on the internet.
A friend is someone you can talk to. A friend is someone you can trust. A real friend is still a friend when you are going through bad times, not just when you are in good times.
How do you develop a friend? You talk with them. You eat with them. You spend time with them.
Make it a priority to actually meet people. Make it a point to regularly interact with them. It really doesn't matter how, but face-to-face time is best.
Where can you go to meet friendly people? The answer is really, really simple: anywhere friendly people meet together. Let me list a few examples.
1. School. Most of you grew up in public schools, or are in public schools. Take some time to actually get real friends by developing that relationship while you are locked in the same classroom for 8 hours a day. Don't be lax about this. Make real friends while it is easy to do so!
2. Church. Trust me on this, one of the reasons people go to church is because they are lonely. Go be lonely together and make a friend.
3. Community charity events. Especially the ones that are held monthly or weekly, such as soup kitchens. Lots of lonely people go to these to find friends.
4. Participate in other community events. Join the local community choir, for instance, or the community theater. Don't be stupid about it, but don't be too shy either.
5. Use your friends to make more friends. If you're an introvert like myself, I rely on my friends who are extroverts to introduce me to more social situations. I pay attention to what they are doing and sometimes I invite myself to accompany them. Since they are extroverted, they actually enjoy the company. I get to shadow behind them when I get uncomfortable.
Now, why don't you have real friends? I'll list the reasons:
1. You don't continue to communicate with the people you know.
2. You don't show up when they are having a bad time, and you aren't willing to give something up for someone else.
3. You don't take the time to find more friends or to spend time with the ones you already have.
4. You don't learn about your friends, or if you do, it's not important enough to you to remember those things. Even something as simple as "How did your daughter do in the school play?" after remembering your friend mentioned your daughter is in the school play goes a LONG way to making a real friend.
Folks, you NEED friends to survive in this world. The closer they are, the better it is. You need real friends you can trust, and who trust you. It makes the whole experience of being human so much better than trying to live alone.
One thing to remember -- American culture (or maybe Western Culture?) is weird because friends are not eternal. Don't be like that. If you make a friend, you keep him for the rest of your life. If he becomes a jerk and unmanageable, you still count him as a friend even though he chooses to go a different path than you. If he ever wants to come back and change his life, you'll be there to help him because you always were a true friend.
Life is too short not to make friends.
Apparently, either you are too depressed to live on planet earth, or a jew, but hoping that it is the former, let me explain how friends work to those of you who grew up on the internet.
A friend is someone you can talk to. A friend is someone you can trust. A real friend is still a friend when you are going through bad times, not just when you are in good times.
How do you develop a friend? You talk with them. You eat with them. You spend time with them.
Make it a priority to actually meet people. Make it a point to regularly interact with them. It really doesn't matter how, but face-to-face time is best.
Where can you go to meet friendly people? The answer is really, really simple: anywhere friendly people meet together. Let me list a few examples.
1. School. Most of you grew up in public schools, or are in public schools. Take some time to actually get real friends by developing that relationship while you are locked in the same classroom for 8 hours a day. Don't be lax about this. Make real friends while it is easy to do so!
2. Church. Trust me on this, one of the reasons people go to church is because they are lonely. Go be lonely together and make a friend.
3. Community charity events. Especially the ones that are held monthly or weekly, such as soup kitchens. Lots of lonely people go to these to find friends.
4. Participate in other community events. Join the local community choir, for instance, or the community theater. Don't be stupid about it, but don't be too shy either.
5. Use your friends to make more friends. If you're an introvert like myself, I rely on my friends who are extroverts to introduce me to more social situations. I pay attention to what they are doing and sometimes I invite myself to accompany them. Since they are extroverted, they actually enjoy the company. I get to shadow behind them when I get uncomfortable.
Now, why don't you have real friends? I'll list the reasons:
1. You don't continue to communicate with the people you know.
2. You don't show up when they are having a bad time, and you aren't willing to give something up for someone else.
3. You don't take the time to find more friends or to spend time with the ones you already have.
4. You don't learn about your friends, or if you do, it's not important enough to you to remember those things. Even something as simple as "How did your daughter do in the school play?" after remembering your friend mentioned your daughter is in the school play goes a LONG way to making a real friend.
Folks, you NEED friends to survive in this world. The closer they are, the better it is. You need real friends you can trust, and who trust you. It makes the whole experience of being human so much better than trying to live alone.
One thing to remember -- American culture (or maybe Western Culture?) is weird because friends are not eternal. Don't be like that. If you make a friend, you keep him for the rest of your life. If he becomes a jerk and unmanageable, you still count him as a friend even though he chooses to go a different path than you. If he ever wants to come back and change his life, you'll be there to help him because you always were a true friend.
Life is too short not to make friends.
That's where friendship starts to really mean something.