(Apologies in advance for the blogpost, but it is to inform the context of the one seeking guidance, as my life has been largely atypical in this regard.)
A few years into being redpilled now, making some improvements in my life, and I've been doing a lot of self reflection. Something that I've come to realize about myself is that I have been a hopeless romantic from a very young age. Barely ever experiencing a cooties phase, I've always been taken with the beauty of woman and have desperately wanted one to call my own. One to love, to protect, to give children.
However, I didn't have a good start in life in this regard. Though a part of me still loves him, my father was a low T, hedonistic deadbeat who was eventually henpecked to divorce by my mother. I unwittingly replicated his footfalls, becoming a video gaming recluse and developing a raging addiction to extremely bizarre pornography by the age of 13, a sorry state that would continue unabated all the way through adulthood. And even before this I was a shut in on account of being homeschooled.
As such, I have daunting social anxiety and virtually zero experience with women. On the few occasions throughout my life that I came within orbit of opportunities, I dropped the ball hard out of fear, and a gross misunderstanding of how to navigate female psychology (No Rizz.) The only girl I ever dated was a brown whore who almost certainly had a triple digit body count, an ill-fated affair that gracelessly fizzled out within a month.
In my life, this has left me bitter and blackpilled about my chances with women. The eternal crybaby, I would always moan about my misfortune to anyone who would listen, cursing that my fate was to die alone as though it had already come to pass. Indeed, some of this has even dribbled into posts I've made on this very forum.
Though I've long convinced myself of my own wallowing sentiments being plain objectivity, I understand now that it's all just been miserable coping to justify never even trying anymore. Well, after waking up to many truths previously obscured, and removing the fog from my eyes by destroying my worst vices, I have now decided to emphatically say:
Fuck that.
I am 25 years of age. Despite my mental inhibitions, I am reasonably attractive, in acceptable shape and coming from a line of tall, handsome White men. I have no debt, a decent career, and a snowballing nest egg that will very likely net me a paid off homestead by as early as age 30. It's too early in life, with too many blessings therein, to give up on my greatest desire, which is a noble thing for any man to strive for.
But in this endeavor, I need help. I am still a recluse without a network or any social rituals, and I understand that this likely must change. I am willing to try anything to further my goal, to put myself out there relentlessly, but I don't know where to start.
If my single minded objective is to find a woman, how should I be spending my time? Where should I go on weekends? What hobbies, social or otherwise, should I take up? In which areas of my life should I be most directly focusing my ongoing self improvement efforts? Are dating apps worth using as a secondary angle of attack? How does courting a girl in the 21st century actually work?
You get the picture. My spirit is willing, but I am the biggest autist in normietown, completely out of my depth in this endeavor even in the most cursory matters. Please give me the advice on finding a mate that my dad never did, ConPro.
If you read this, thank you and God bless.
A few years into being redpilled now, making some improvements in my life, and I've been doing a lot of self reflection. Something that I've come to realize about myself is that I have been a hopeless romantic from a very young age. Barely ever experiencing a cooties phase, I've always been taken with the beauty of woman and have desperately wanted one to call my own. One to love, to protect, to give children.
However, I didn't have a good start in life in this regard. Though a part of me still loves him, my father was a low T, hedonistic deadbeat who was eventually henpecked to divorce by my mother. I unwittingly replicated his footfalls, becoming a video gaming recluse and developing a raging addiction to extremely bizarre pornography by the age of 13, a sorry state that would continue unabated all the way through adulthood. And even before this I was a shut in on account of being homeschooled.
As such, I have daunting social anxiety and virtually zero experience with women. On the few occasions throughout my life that I came within orbit of opportunities, I dropped the ball hard out of fear, and a gross misunderstanding of how to navigate female psychology (No Rizz.) The only girl I ever dated was a brown whore who almost certainly had a triple digit body count, an ill-fated affair that gracelessly fizzled out within a month.
In my life, this has left me bitter and blackpilled about my chances with women. The eternal crybaby, I would always moan about my misfortune to anyone who would listen, cursing that my fate was to die alone as though it had already come to pass. Indeed, some of this has even dribbled into posts I've made on this very forum.
Though I've long convinced myself of my own wallowing sentiments being plain objectivity, I understand now that it's all just been miserable coping to justify never even trying anymore. Well, after waking up to many truths previously obscured, and removing the fog from my eyes by destroying my worst vices, I have now decided to emphatically say:
Fuck that.
I am 25 years of age. Despite my mental inhibitions, I am reasonably attractive, in acceptable shape and coming from a line of tall, handsome White men. I have no debt, a decent career, and a snowballing nest egg that will very likely net me a paid off homestead by as early as age 30. It's too early in life, with too many blessings therein, to give up on my greatest desire, which is a noble thing for any man to strive for.
But in this endeavor, I need help. I am still a recluse without a network or any social rituals, and I understand that this likely must change. I am willing to try anything to further my goal, to put myself out there relentlessly, but I don't know where to start.
If my single minded objective is to find a woman, how should I be spending my time? Where should I go on weekends? What hobbies, social or otherwise, should I take up? In which areas of my life should I be most directly focusing my ongoing self improvement efforts? Are dating apps worth using as a secondary angle of attack? How does courting a girl in the 21st century actually work?
You get the picture. My spirit is willing, but I am the biggest autist in normietown, completely out of my depth in this endeavor even in the most cursory matters. Please give me the advice on finding a mate that my dad never did, ConPro.
If you read this, thank you and God bless.
I am actually on my third week of going to a church right now despite initially thinking I wouldn't go that route. I struggle with really getting "into" the dogmatic religiosity, sitting out the eucharist and whatnot, but I've been trying to come out of my shell and engage as much as I can stand on a practical, human level. I haven't delved into all the ways I can get "involved" yet, but I did go in on the weekend to help them take down their Christmas decorations.
It's like 90% old people there, but I guess that just means I'm combining the church advice with the advice of the other user who said to cozy up to grandmas who can play matchmaker with their granddaughters. 😂 But it is in the middle of a university district, and so I've heard young people do blow in from time to time...
There are a lot of churches out there that are fun and play music that doesn't sound funereal and feels like more of a concert. There are an absolute ton of nice like your ladies who go to my church by themselves. It's unreal.
It sounds like you're doing everything right. At this point, it's a good idea to focus on yourself and get into the Bible. You can start in Proverbs and read a chapter a day...there are 30 chapters and they're all fairly short. It's just wisdom after wisdom. Awesome stuff. From there, read John in the New Testament and then The Acts. Great read. I've really been getting into Proverbs and am really enjoying it.
Keep us posted brother.
Funny enough, I sought out the church I did (confessional Lutheran) specifically for the high church atmosphere. I find it a lot easier to stomach than the rock concert liturgy often found in non denominational and the like, which I was raised in. And insofar as I do take Christian dogma seriously, I personally think Lutherans have the best theology. Kinda helps that virtually all the based Christians in public discourse seem to be Lutherans.
Definitely don't doubt that you're right about demographics (my mom still goes to that style of church you describe and I see more young people there,) but my gut says to stick it out for now at least. One college-aged girl in the congregation recently announced their regular fellowship meetings for young people are returning soon, and specifically included the language, "if you're single," among the descriptions of those who should consider showing up. So, fingers crossed.
> At this point, it's a good idea to focus on yourself and get into the Bible. You can start in Proverbs and read a chapter a day...
I have been keeping up a daily Bible reading rule, which coincidentally includes the Proverbs. I agree they're quite soothing to go through. I'm currently trying to read three chapters per day, one in the old testament (going through it in order,) one in Proverbs (will be Psalms after finishing,) one in the epistles (starting in Romans and going in order.)
I encounter a *lot* of passages that I struggle to redeem in light of the ideologies we discuss here, but if nothing else I want to work my way towards having an informed and honest perspective on the text as a whole, whatever that final assessment ends up being.
> Keep us posted brother
If I succeed in my mission, you guys will be the first to know. 😂