(Apologies in advance for the blogpost, but it is to inform the context of the one seeking guidance, as my life has been largely atypical in this regard.)
A few years into being redpilled now, making some improvements in my life, and I've been doing a lot of self reflection. Something that I've come to realize about myself is that I have been a hopeless romantic from a very young age. Barely ever experiencing a cooties phase, I've always been taken with the beauty of woman and have desperately wanted one to call my own. One to love, to protect, to give children.
However, I didn't have a good start in life in this regard. Though a part of me still loves him, my father was a low T, hedonistic deadbeat who was eventually henpecked to divorce by my mother. I unwittingly replicated his footfalls, becoming a video gaming recluse and developing a raging addiction to extremely bizarre pornography by the age of 13, a sorry state that would continue unabated all the way through adulthood. And even before this I was a shut in on account of being homeschooled.
As such, I have daunting social anxiety and virtually zero experience with women. On the few occasions throughout my life that I came within orbit of opportunities, I dropped the ball hard out of fear, and a gross misunderstanding of how to navigate female psychology (No Rizz.) The only girl I ever dated was a brown whore who almost certainly had a triple digit body count, an ill-fated affair that gracelessly fizzled out within a month.
In my life, this has left me bitter and blackpilled about my chances with women. The eternal crybaby, I would always moan about my misfortune to anyone who would listen, cursing that my fate was to die alone as though it had already come to pass. Indeed, some of this has even dribbled into posts I've made on this very forum.
Though I've long convinced myself of my own wallowing sentiments being plain objectivity, I understand now that it's all just been miserable coping to justify never even trying anymore. Well, after waking up to many truths previously obscured, and removing the fog from my eyes by destroying my worst vices, I have now decided to emphatically say:
Fuck that.
I am 25 years of age. Despite my mental inhibitions, I am reasonably attractive, in acceptable shape and coming from a line of tall, handsome White men. I have no debt, a decent career, and a snowballing nest egg that will very likely net me a paid off homestead by as early as age 30. It's too early in life, with too many blessings therein, to give up on my greatest desire, which is a noble thing for any man to strive for.
But in this endeavor, I need help. I am still a recluse without a network or any social rituals, and I understand that this likely must change. I am willing to try anything to further my goal, to put myself out there relentlessly, but I don't know where to start.
If my single minded objective is to find a woman, how should I be spending my time? Where should I go on weekends? What hobbies, social or otherwise, should I take up? In which areas of my life should I be most directly focusing my ongoing self improvement efforts? Are dating apps worth using as a secondary angle of attack? How does courting a girl in the 21st century actually work?
You get the picture. My spirit is willing, but I am the biggest autist in normietown, completely out of my depth in this endeavor even in the most cursory matters. Please give me the advice on finding a mate that my dad never did, ConPro.
If you read this, thank you and God bless.
A few years into being redpilled now, making some improvements in my life, and I've been doing a lot of self reflection. Something that I've come to realize about myself is that I have been a hopeless romantic from a very young age. Barely ever experiencing a cooties phase, I've always been taken with the beauty of woman and have desperately wanted one to call my own. One to love, to protect, to give children.
However, I didn't have a good start in life in this regard. Though a part of me still loves him, my father was a low T, hedonistic deadbeat who was eventually henpecked to divorce by my mother. I unwittingly replicated his footfalls, becoming a video gaming recluse and developing a raging addiction to extremely bizarre pornography by the age of 13, a sorry state that would continue unabated all the way through adulthood. And even before this I was a shut in on account of being homeschooled.
As such, I have daunting social anxiety and virtually zero experience with women. On the few occasions throughout my life that I came within orbit of opportunities, I dropped the ball hard out of fear, and a gross misunderstanding of how to navigate female psychology (No Rizz.) The only girl I ever dated was a brown whore who almost certainly had a triple digit body count, an ill-fated affair that gracelessly fizzled out within a month.
In my life, this has left me bitter and blackpilled about my chances with women. The eternal crybaby, I would always moan about my misfortune to anyone who would listen, cursing that my fate was to die alone as though it had already come to pass. Indeed, some of this has even dribbled into posts I've made on this very forum.
Though I've long convinced myself of my own wallowing sentiments being plain objectivity, I understand now that it's all just been miserable coping to justify never even trying anymore. Well, after waking up to many truths previously obscured, and removing the fog from my eyes by destroying my worst vices, I have now decided to emphatically say:
Fuck that.
I am 25 years of age. Despite my mental inhibitions, I am reasonably attractive, in acceptable shape and coming from a line of tall, handsome White men. I have no debt, a decent career, and a snowballing nest egg that will very likely net me a paid off homestead by as early as age 30. It's too early in life, with too many blessings therein, to give up on my greatest desire, which is a noble thing for any man to strive for.
But in this endeavor, I need help. I am still a recluse without a network or any social rituals, and I understand that this likely must change. I am willing to try anything to further my goal, to put myself out there relentlessly, but I don't know where to start.
If my single minded objective is to find a woman, how should I be spending my time? Where should I go on weekends? What hobbies, social or otherwise, should I take up? In which areas of my life should I be most directly focusing my ongoing self improvement efforts? Are dating apps worth using as a secondary angle of attack? How does courting a girl in the 21st century actually work?
You get the picture. My spirit is willing, but I am the biggest autist in normietown, completely out of my depth in this endeavor even in the most cursory matters. Please give me the advice on finding a mate that my dad never did, ConPro.
If you read this, thank you and God bless.
Women want to be taken, that is their biological imperative. The state of being taken by a man (not just sexually but in general) is a sort of self-fulfilling prophesy which basically guarantees their acceptance of you. Problem is, we are socially more complex than wolves or elk, so we can't just force ourselves sexually upon a woman of our choosing.
There are a few things I've noticed are good steps to take in pursuit of a woman
1. Displaying attraction very early. This is different from displaying intentions. You intend to make the woman your wife, but you dont offer a ring the moment you see her. The first thing you intend to do is make her your woman, your girlfriend. So make sure she knows you are attracted to her very early on. The easiest way to do this is to tell her she's cute or hot to her face. If she rejects you rudely (which won't happen) then you really don't want her anyways because she is a person who will make you sad throughout life.
2. Make sure there is regular contact between you two, but do not escalate the intensity of your signals of attraction untill she reciprocates. From now on she is eternally simply "cute" or "hot" until she gives something back. Do not signal more than once per day, or even less if you meet multiple days in a row.
3. Get alone time with the girl, and ensure that you are the leader during this time. Give her verbal and physical directions that are easy to follow. For instance, open your passenger car door and say "hop in" ("get in" sounds like a threat lol, and on that note you never use language that sounds like a threat until she is your wife, until then only provide offers or ultimatums). Ensure that you are the provider when you are alone with her. If something rediculous is about to happen, it's fine to say that you can't afford something. This is you commanding control of the situation. You don't have infinite resources (no man does) and if she can't respect that reality and change, it's her loss.
4. People often say that there is a "touch barrier". But this doesn't actually exist. The only barrier is your confidence. If you're a retarded simp cuck, you'll never touch a woman for any reason whatsoever. If your a normal person, whoch you are, you can gently put your hand on someone's shoulder in a social setting to get their attention. Best case scenario you get to guide her through a crowd by gently placing your hand on her back. The difference between this and handholding is that handholding is a much more conscious form of submission which the average playful female mind will not want to provide unless you're a dangerous man ("pump and dump" scenario)
5. There is a difference between a woman who declares her submission to her husband in a public ritual (social wedding parties) versus a woman who declares her submission to a new and exciting man which she has no logical reason to believe will provide for her. Any woman who offers yourself or another man sex before marriage has nothing else to offer. Keep in mind that no man has married what is essentially a hole, because they have nothing to offer. This is also why you can't turn a whore into a wife: her brain is permanently broken and has no logical basis on which to operate in society. Even stories where God intervenes, He turns them into NUNS, not WIVES. These women will never have any desire to have a stable and secure relationship to raise a family in. Their end result of their biological imperative is to be wiped from the genepool, same as trannies (no matter how much of this behavior is induced by our degenerated SOYciety)