(Apologies in advance for the blogpost, but it is to inform the context of the one seeking guidance, as my life has been largely atypical in this regard.)
A few years into being redpilled now, making some improvements in my life, and I've been doing a lot of self reflection. Something that I've come to realize about myself is that I have been a hopeless romantic from a very young age. Barely ever experiencing a cooties phase, I've always been taken with the beauty of woman and have desperately wanted one to call my own. One to love, to protect, to give children.
However, I didn't have a good start in life in this regard. Though a part of me still loves him, my father was a low T, hedonistic deadbeat who was eventually henpecked to divorce by my mother. I unwittingly replicated his footfalls, becoming a video gaming recluse and developing a raging addiction to extremely bizarre pornography by the age of 13, a sorry state that would continue unabated all the way through adulthood. And even before this I was a shut in on account of being homeschooled.
As such, I have daunting social anxiety and virtually zero experience with women. On the few occasions throughout my life that I came within orbit of opportunities, I dropped the ball hard out of fear, and a gross misunderstanding of how to navigate female psychology (No Rizz.) The only girl I ever dated was a brown whore who almost certainly had a triple digit body count, an ill-fated affair that gracelessly fizzled out within a month.
In my life, this has left me bitter and blackpilled about my chances with women. The eternal crybaby, I would always moan about my misfortune to anyone who would listen, cursing that my fate was to die alone as though it had already come to pass. Indeed, some of this has even dribbled into posts I've made on this very forum.
Though I've long convinced myself of my own wallowing sentiments being plain objectivity, I understand now that it's all just been miserable coping to justify never even trying anymore. Well, after waking up to many truths previously obscured, and removing the fog from my eyes by destroying my worst vices, I have now decided to emphatically say:
Fuck that.
I am 25 years of age. Despite my mental inhibitions, I am reasonably attractive, in acceptable shape and coming from a line of tall, handsome White men. I have no debt, a decent career, and a snowballing nest egg that will very likely net me a paid off homestead by as early as age 30. It's too early in life, with too many blessings therein, to give up on my greatest desire, which is a noble thing for any man to strive for.
But in this endeavor, I need help. I am still a recluse without a network or any social rituals, and I understand that this likely must change. I am willing to try anything to further my goal, to put myself out there relentlessly, but I don't know where to start.
If my single minded objective is to find a woman, how should I be spending my time? Where should I go on weekends? What hobbies, social or otherwise, should I take up? In which areas of my life should I be most directly focusing my ongoing self improvement efforts? Are dating apps worth using as a secondary angle of attack? How does courting a girl in the 21st century actually work?
You get the picture. My spirit is willing, but I am the biggest autist in normietown, completely out of my depth in this endeavor even in the most cursory matters. Please give me the advice on finding a mate that my dad never did, ConPro.
If you read this, thank you and God bless.
A few years into being redpilled now, making some improvements in my life, and I've been doing a lot of self reflection. Something that I've come to realize about myself is that I have been a hopeless romantic from a very young age. Barely ever experiencing a cooties phase, I've always been taken with the beauty of woman and have desperately wanted one to call my own. One to love, to protect, to give children.
However, I didn't have a good start in life in this regard. Though a part of me still loves him, my father was a low T, hedonistic deadbeat who was eventually henpecked to divorce by my mother. I unwittingly replicated his footfalls, becoming a video gaming recluse and developing a raging addiction to extremely bizarre pornography by the age of 13, a sorry state that would continue unabated all the way through adulthood. And even before this I was a shut in on account of being homeschooled.
As such, I have daunting social anxiety and virtually zero experience with women. On the few occasions throughout my life that I came within orbit of opportunities, I dropped the ball hard out of fear, and a gross misunderstanding of how to navigate female psychology (No Rizz.) The only girl I ever dated was a brown whore who almost certainly had a triple digit body count, an ill-fated affair that gracelessly fizzled out within a month.
In my life, this has left me bitter and blackpilled about my chances with women. The eternal crybaby, I would always moan about my misfortune to anyone who would listen, cursing that my fate was to die alone as though it had already come to pass. Indeed, some of this has even dribbled into posts I've made on this very forum.
Though I've long convinced myself of my own wallowing sentiments being plain objectivity, I understand now that it's all just been miserable coping to justify never even trying anymore. Well, after waking up to many truths previously obscured, and removing the fog from my eyes by destroying my worst vices, I have now decided to emphatically say:
Fuck that.
I am 25 years of age. Despite my mental inhibitions, I am reasonably attractive, in acceptable shape and coming from a line of tall, handsome White men. I have no debt, a decent career, and a snowballing nest egg that will very likely net me a paid off homestead by as early as age 30. It's too early in life, with too many blessings therein, to give up on my greatest desire, which is a noble thing for any man to strive for.
But in this endeavor, I need help. I am still a recluse without a network or any social rituals, and I understand that this likely must change. I am willing to try anything to further my goal, to put myself out there relentlessly, but I don't know where to start.
If my single minded objective is to find a woman, how should I be spending my time? Where should I go on weekends? What hobbies, social or otherwise, should I take up? In which areas of my life should I be most directly focusing my ongoing self improvement efforts? Are dating apps worth using as a secondary angle of attack? How does courting a girl in the 21st century actually work?
You get the picture. My spirit is willing, but I am the biggest autist in normietown, completely out of my depth in this endeavor even in the most cursory matters. Please give me the advice on finding a mate that my dad never did, ConPro.
If you read this, thank you and God bless.
You're probably not going to simply walk into a church one day and find the girl of your dreams. You're going to have to go to literally every church, spark up conversations and see where there is a potential mate. Same thing with bars. Same thing with various clubs. Once you figure out where the potential is you have to continue to attend.
Being a recognized face is a big part of building a friendship. Start off just saying hello to people. Eventually whoever you're greeting will start to recognize you and open up more, especially if you're both shy. If you're good at talking then sometimes you can spark up friendships immediately. Appear friendly. People, especially women, these days are cowards and get easily scared by tough asses.. but even if you're naturally a tough ass like me they'll still eventually accept you as being a common person in their lives and open up to you.
Don't look too hard into POA shit. It's counter productive. Not every women will give you fuck me eyes. Not every one will touch her ear, bite her lip, talk high pitched or other "tells." They only do that if they are trying to be obvious and whoreish. If she isn't putting on a passive gtf away from me attitude, you're good so keep __LISTENING__ TO HER BABBLE ABOUT RETARDED CRAP. Just provoke them to talk and they'll babble about the stupidest shit. The big key is weathering the storm. Eventually she'll have gone on for so long she'll like you in some capacity.
Step one is getting over caring about what people think of you. Literally drop that RIGHT NOW or you're fucked.