Solomon II was a blogger in the middle of the manosphere's lifetime, around 2009-2011. He quit and left abruptly due to a data security breach and has been gone since. Well, while the wider manosphere has changed and in some ways degenerated, we still have most of Solomon's writings. Here is one of his best, "Drive Thru Boyfriends", submitted here for the ages. Read it, learn it, love it, live it. Because if you don't, it will be imposed upon you.
Read it and know it, men.
Drive Thru Boyfriends
“Welcome to McFling’s. My name is Solomon II. May I take your order?” “Uh, yes. I’ll have the three months of meaningless sex from the Boyfriend Lite menu, add extra self respect. Hold the judgment and consequences please. “I’m sorry; we’re all out of self respect. Would you like to add a side of rationalization for only $1 more?” “Yeah. That’s fine. Super size it please.” “Thank you. Please pull up to the window for your total.”
There she is driving down the road of life at her own pace. She’s young, independent, beautiful and has all the time in the world. When she’s horny, she swings into the closest drive thru and places her order. She does the same thing when she’s sad, lonely, happy, up, down, in, out, excited, needy, afraid, strong, weak, depressed, moody, joyful, exhilarated, stressed, etc. Any and every reason is valid because she’s being “true to herself”. Every three months on average she swings into McFling’s and orders up the best looking or most exciting thing on the menu (because she’s sooo selective). There’s also a couple of late night snack runs thrown in there for good measure, but not as many as some other girls, so you have no right to judge her. She’s young and her metabolism is firing on all cylinders, so now is the time for her to gorge herself with no consequences.
At the age of 27, she starts to notice that her steady diet of junk food relationships isn’t as satisfying as it once was. Sure the bright lights, flashy signs, fast service and cheap satisfaction made for great fun, but now she’s starving for wholesome affection and beginning to show signs of emotional malnutrition. There has to be something better out there. Something more substantive. All of a sudden she decides to make a change. No more drive thru boyfriends. Certainly everyone understands that her junk food relationship binge wasn’t her fault since it’s the bulk of what society offers. It’s our culture. These greasy high calorie drive thru boyfriend establishments are on every corner, advertised on every channel, glamorized in the media, and no one really told her how bad they could be for her health. It’s society’s fault. It’s the franchise’s fault. All the girls she knows are doing it, so how could she possibly be expected to know any better? So now she wants steak, and by God she’s convinced that she deserves it from a five star restaurant.
She takes a shower hoping the stench of her decade long habit of frequenting McFling’s won’t be as noticeable. She may not know how to act properly at the new fancy steakhouse she’s going to try tonight, but it’s ok. Men always give her a pass on her behavior since she’s beautiful and an easy lay adventurous.
When she’s all done getting ready and is confident that she can look and act like the type of girl who has been eating healthy all along, she heads out for the best steakhouse in town. Why not the best? She deserves it, and her friend Michelle ate there last week (and she’s totally not even pretty).
With all the undeserved self confidence in the world and an advanced case of juvenile egocentrism, she pulls into the parking lot of the steakhouse. She notices there are dozens of people standing in line. She doesn’t understand. The stupid bitch at the hostess desk asked her if she had a reservation. A reservation?! How rude! She has a vagina and that’s always been sufficient before, so what gives? It seems the steakhouse is completely booked for months.
Now she’s pissed off. How could the upscale steakhouse refuse to seat her? So what if she showed up right at prime dinner time (27 years old o’clock) and demanded the best seat in the house. She deserves it. She’s waited so long for it… well, not really, but in theory anyway. She always knew the steakhouse was there, she just never took the time to plan ahead for reservations. It’s not her fault. As she drives away, she realizes she has another problem. She’s still hungry. She pulls in to yet another McFling’s, this time disgusted to be there. But she’s changed, so she decides to try something different.
“Welcome to McFling’s. My name is Solomon II. May I take your order?” “Uh, yes. I’ll have the steak please.” “We don’t serve steak. Show me your tits.” “I’m not like that anymore. Steak please.” “I can offer you the three months of meaningless sex from the Boyfriend Lite menu, and pretend to hold the judgment and consequences if you’d like.” “Steak please.” “Bitch, would you like me to serve you the three months of meaningless sex from the Boyfriend Lite menu, pretend to hold the judgment and consequences, and just tell you it’s steak?” “Steak please.” “Fine. Please pull up to the first window. I’ll have your total and a treat for your hamster.”
This cycle continues until she turns 30 and realizes that she’ll never get in to the steakhouse. She’s waited much too long to make reservations, so she settles for a Beta male who takes her to Chili’s on 2 for 1 night in his minivan. Hey, it’s not the steakhouse she deserves, but it’s better than that asshole Solomon II at the drive thru boyfriend joint. At least Chili’s has real silverware.
That night she stumbles upon a blog with a post entitled “Drive Thru Boyfriends” and gets righteously annoyed. That’s not her at all. That was never her intention. She’s different, special, and unique. What gives the author the right to assume that he knows her or can determine what she’s been through in her AMAZING life? He doesn’t know her story. He doesn’t know her heart. He can’t judge her actions based on what other girls do simply because she did the same things and ended up in the same situation they did. He can’t tell her what kind of person she is, or what her fate will be. She’s different than the rest. She’s strong, independent and wise beyond her years.
In her rage she hits the road again, confused by what has happened to her and angry that she didn’t get what she deserved out of life. With her Beta boyfriend wondering where the hell she is, she drives past the steakhouse which is closed for the night. Blinded by fury and driven by emotion, she decides to make yet another change. A real and meaningful change this time. This time she’ll get it right and enjoy what she deserves for being an amazing woman. Her rationalization hamster helps out with navigation and leads her to a brand new place. Somewhere she’s never been. This is it! This is what she needs. This time she’s confident she’ll get what she deserves.
And she does.
“Welcome to McFling’s. My name is Solomon II. May I take your order?”
“Steak, please…”
