Consume Product

Imagine going to a Disney theme park as a childless adult. It makes me cringe almost as much as 30 year old chicks going "beatlemania" over Taylor Swift's era tour.

I remember seeing concert DVD advertisements for oldies musicians where a bunch of old people on stage and in the audience were pretending they're 18 again and I thought it was super weird. Now millennials are just on a fast track to be cringey boomers, only instead of being cringey when they're 65, they're cringey when they're 35.

If birth control was handed out like Skittles to the younger boomers and gen x, a lot of us wouldn't be here because they would just be 1-2 generations earlier than the millennials.

Let me paint you a completely, totally, hypothetical picture. You're 30, tall, White, smart, good job, in pretty good shape, and lets say you are a solid 7.5 in the face. Not an Instagram chad, but way better then 90% of the scum walking around 70 pounds overweight in the supermarket.

You land one of the very few remaining decent girls out there. She's 25, 8.5 face, thin, White, conservative, sane (impossible I know), not run through, and she's willing to put the work in to stay in shape. You wifed her up ASAP, and now its been about two years. Things have been magical since then, great sex life, few arguments, you are both genuinely in love. It's like something right out of a fairytale.

Then she tells you she's picked up a personal trainer to help her stay in shape.

The record scratch is so loud you can hear it on the moon. Worse, turns out he's also a tall chiseled chad, and you have a full time job and can't puppy-guard your girl 24/7.

Now, dear reader, how the FUCK do you stop what we all know is coming. Preferably without destroying the relationship in the process.

Let me repeat, this woman you've landed is about as good as girls get in America in 2025. She's not politically poisoned, she's not a hoe, she's not insane or ruined by toxic girlfriends giving her bad dating advice. She just happened to bump into this trainer randomly at the gym and didn't even think for a second of how dangerous it could to the marriage.

For the moment lets assume she really isn't a hoe, and she really is just that naïve.

How does one, realistically guys, no over the top internet bravado, tell her to drop this dude to make sure nothing ends up happening. Remember, she's a good girl, but she's still a girl! Logic does not work on them. Relationship stats, or example videos, even more useless. Even bringing the subject up will trigger the factory default "Oh, so you don't trust me!" response 99 times out of 100.

This seems like a Kobayashi Maru scenario to me honestly.

In this totally made up situation, I'd really love my girl for being willing to do the hard work it takes to stay in shape, and I'd go with her as much as humanly possible, but I'd also have a job keeping the lights turned on and could not realistically stop her from getting attention from every swinging dick in the gym, much less the planet. Addressing it at all will mean a fight, I don't see away around that, but if it has to happen then it needs to end with me convincing her that if she spends time with this dude then an affair is just a matter of time.

Before you say it, I highly doubt the "I trust you, I just don't trust him." line will be enough. Threats and honest reminders of the consequences of cheating will also just sound like ultimatums (cus they are), and will just triggering her negative psychological responses, pushing her away when I need to be pulling her in.

And yes, I am well aware that jealously gives women the ick. Perfectly convenient for them, but not so much for the men they cheat on of course.

One more thing. I really, really hate how human psychology works when it comes to these things.

I know I'm asking a lot of Conpro to have an actual serious talk even for just a second, but really, WTF do I do here?

Jeffery Epstein didn't fucking kill himself.

O God of Heaven and Earth, why have you forsaken me?
I had once surrendered the pleasures of life, and with you alone O God, made a spoken covenant against the temptation of my sin.
For you I have burned incense, Lord, knowing that this means nothing.
With you I have been afflicted and suffer calamities, feeling torment because of the wickedness of my heart.
By your Word I have been driven to seek the invisible among that which is visible, and these things have become a stumbling block unto me.
Hear my plea, O God, turn not your face from me.
I am nothing without you but a worm, devouring the filth of the Earth for meat.
Yea but with you O God, I am as a blade of grass, clothed in glory by means I know not what.
Be it that I grow and I flower, and at the coming of the season the reaper shall cut me down and store me in the high loft.
Be unto me as a buckler, that the temptation of sin may not pierce my heart and lay me out upon the battlefield.
Be unto me as a high tower, and shield me from the host of evil that encompasses me round about.
Be my guiding light, O Great Lord of All, that I may navigate in the night that has fallen upon me without warning.
It is not you who has forsaken me, but I who have forsaken you.